Better Me Epiphany ~ What If?

So the other day i had a big case of the What If's ~ and not the good kind. You know one of those moments where doubt rushes in and hits you real hard

What if no one cares?

What if I never move forward?

What if I never become anymore than I am now?

What If I'm wasting my time?

What if none of this will ever be worth it?

Depressing right? Tell me about it! I think we all go through these little moments, but that doesn't make them any easier. I don't know where all those thoughts came from but I know it's a place that I refuse to stay. Fear has the sneakiest way of creeping in and crippling who we are and who we will be. It can be so convincing and can litterally pull you backwards in life. I believe that fear is deceit in its purest form. It takes everything in life and distorts it and has all us believing in something that isn't true. When we believe lies we act accordingly and everything is thrown off.

I decided a long time ago to enjoy my life exactly how it is right this instant. It's the only life that we have to enjoy. I may never have a blog following of 15,000. I may never right a book that ends up on the Oprah book club list. I may never have a booming business. That is ok, because those are all extraneous things. I know in the very deepest part of me that who I am is not determined by these things. My identity lies in what I choose. So each day I will continue to do the things I love, share the things I care about, and enjoy life in spite of what fear, doubt, and anything else tell me. It won't trick me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The what ifs in life will always try to cover up what is. Every time fear trys to distort my lifes' image it is my responsibility to step back, focus, and remember the truth. Today will be the event of a lifetime every time it comes.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Lose Your Grip

Closing doors (365/365), originally uploaded by JenniPenni.

These past few days have been a huge reminder of the tenacity of the human spirit. No matter what, we all have the ability to hold on. The only thing is that sometimes its time for us to just let go.

I have millions of examples... I was cruising through facebook and saw a status update of a friend declaring for the 100th time that they are so glad their ex is out of their life (they were out 3 months ago... still holding on), a friend of mine brought up a time when he was snubbed for something months ago, and ME ~ I was talking to my friend and a name was brought up. I frowned my face and my friend asked when are you going to get over all that. I responded that I was over it, but I won't forget the lesson learned. I'm wondering if I really am though. I don't ever think about that person or the situation unless it's brought up. I'm not harboring ill feelings against them... but I do have a certain perception of them because of the whole situation.

It is easy to go back . Our rearview mirror can take us so far back in an instant. It would be no problem to replay that whole scene over and over and talk about how I was right and they were wrong and I can feel justified in my attitude. But whats the point? Things in our past are over for a reason. We don't have to go back and drudge up all the old hurts, worries, and disapointments. The only thing that can do is muddy up our present. When we replay all of those things over and over we are painting our minds with them. A mind painted with hurt, disapointment, and worry (however real and valid) can only produce more of the same. So the point is to learn from it but don't relive it. We all go through things as a way of teaching us and stretching us into our best selves. So the next time I hear a certain name I don't have to turn up my face, because I won't relive that hurt. I will simply think of the lesson learned and let the rest stay in the past where it belongs.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Reliving a life that already happened is as redundant as this sentence. I won't waste my time, life, or energy focusing on a past that can't be rewritten. It happened.. I survived... I learned... and now I'm letting go and moving forward.

CREATE ~ Valentine’s Card

Hey Y’all!!  So I have been really excited about this whole card making thing! I have kind of gone crazy buying craft supplies lately! I am stopping myself… no more… for a week! Ha!  Anyways I wanted to share my latest card! Tell me what you think!

 

Here is the cover!

 

And here is the inside

Here’s another

Here is the inside with a matching envelope

What do you think?

The Sophistareaders ~ Skipping Christmas

Hey Ya’ll! Well the book for December was very appropriately picked by Laura! It was called Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. It is the book that the movie Christmas with the Kranks was based off of. It was a fun read and a fun book club meeting too!

We had Japanese! I had the Fuji roll… and it was delicious!! We just sat around and discussed the book. Laura asked us if we could ever “skip Christmas” and not celebrate. Most of us decided that we couldn’t . One of the great things about Christmas and most major holidays are the family traditions that come right along with it. I don’t think I could give up waking up to a fire on Christmas morning with my family all around eating Cinnamon rolls!! Or the multitude of card games that follow. We love to play cards in my family (all of us are the worst losers too!! It makes it very interesting!!) Pus the most important thing about Christmas is the real meaning behind it. I don’t think I could go a year without stopping to be thankful for the miraculous beginning of my faith!

So Laura thanks for the great pick! and I need to order our next book! I love this little group of people called the Sophistareaders! I couldn’t ask for a better bunch!

What about you? Could you ever skip Christmas?

Lunch Date Table

While eating lunch ALONE today i had an idea. I was sitting in there without my "eat alone materials" ~ a book, magazine, or something to look interested in. I looked around and saw a few single person occupied tables. Then i remembered my trip to New York. While I was there i went to a little jazz club to see one of my favorite singers ( Melonie Daniels... she wasn't there though!). Anyways seating was sparse so they sat me down at a table with a few other people at it. I was a little taken back because I had never been seated with strangers before. But it turned out really nice. I met a young couple from Europe ( I can't remember which country), theey were really nice. It was a good experience fetting to know perfect strangers just because. I looked around there and saw that most of the tables were mixed together like that, with some very opposite types of people. I would've liked to hear some of those conversations!

So i say all of that to say this. I propose that restaurants have a communal table. When i walk in and say table for one they can ask if I'd like to sit there. I think it would be a great way to meet someone new.. and maybe gain a little wisdom from a perfect stranger. I know.. they have a bar for that, but nothing incites conversation like sitting across from someone. You just have to talk!.

So that's my idea for today! What do you think?

CREATE ~ Here We Go!

Hey Y’all!  I’m starting this New Year out with some creativity!!  I had today off ~ tomorrow is the big day back to BOTH jobs. I’m excited about going back to work…. it’s just been so long!! ha!  Back to the point!  Today I decided to see what I can do in the card making department. Here is what I came up with

A simple leaf card with a blank inside that I stamped myself. I even did the envelop too for a little coordination! ( I need to get a camera ~ my phone gets the job done but it doesn’t capture the color very well!)

 

My best friend saw that one and asked me to make one to accompany some baby gifts. A friend of ours had a little baby boy. Here’s what I came up with

I was excited about how it came out!

 

So I’m putting my creative juices to good this year. What about you?  What have you decided to CREATE?

Better Me Epiphany ~ A New Year

We are officially in a new year! Everyone has been asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are for the upcoming year. I responded with a blank stare and a pregnant pause……  I don’t know that I have any right now. This may sound crazy because this year is the perfect time to start over ~ It is chock  full of 1’s. 1/01/11 (Doesn’t this look like a setup for everything to start over?). If you have ever read any of my old posts then you know I fiercely believe in starting over every day, hour, moment, second. We don’t need a calendar full of 1’s or even a sunrise. We have the ability to stop whatever we are doing in that moment and change. I love that idea because it means that we can literally have 86,400 chances to start over every day (that's the number of seconds in a day).

      So I say all of that not to make lightly of the New Year or the New Years resolutions ~ they are grand and wonderful and the most consistent reminder of a new start ~ but I say this all to point out that we don’t have to limit ourselves to that. So many times we resolve to do something in the new year… we mess up.. and then we quit. I put its picture of a spider web up because it is a great reminder to me about new beginnings. Every day that spider laboriously builds it’s web, and every night the dew drops, the wind blows, or a by stander haphazardly walks through it, and it is destroyed. Even the purpose of the web destroys it when a bug gets stuck in it and flails around it messes it up. The spider is continually rebuilding, redoing, and restarting. It takes a lot of dedication, but for the spider it is a matter of survival. So I challenge you and I challenge myself to do the same thing as that spider. persevere like our very survival depends on it ~ because it does. When we mess up, have a setback, walk completely in the opposite direction of where we said we would head, we will not give up. We will simply spin a new web with each new moment and build our lives and our very being into exactly what we set out to do.

Better Me Epiphany: I will remember the web. Destruction is sometimes evident, but it is never the final outcome. My life is what I make it and the chances to change course are only limited by the seconds I have in my lifetime.

CREATE ~ New Horizons!

So I have had tons of time over this break and have been feeling very crafty! I think it’s fun to make something of your own. So here is what I made!

Last night I made a very small mock journal… even bound it myself! Here is how it turned out

Here’s another shot

I wish my phone camera captured to color a little better!

My Nephew saw it and wanted one of his own so I made him a sketchbook. Here is how it turned out

So I’m kind of excited about it! It has me wanting to perfect this a little better and maybe open up an ETSY shop!  

I would love to hear what Y’all think!

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ Results

Hey Y’all!  Well the Tell Me What You See Challenge was a huge success!! There were quite a few responses (Which always makes me excited!!). the picture above was our muse and people wrote something about what they thought was happening here, how it made them feel, or just what they thought about it… basically they said what they saw!! …. I know that’s the whole point right?!

Well here goes!!

My friend, Ansley, saw this  “I see a fun couple who love each other a lot. I wonder if the old pictures around them, are old family members, that maybe they wish were part of their wedding??? Just an idea.”

My Momma (I bugged her enough to participate!) saw this “That dratted seam! Why couldn't the wallpaper have extended just a little further into her cloistered civilization? The seam in the wall, as well as the racial barriers had separated them for so long. With longing, out of the corner of her eye she had gazed at his portrait... wondered what ancient secrets his luxurious and exciting ancestry held compared to the stogy, uptight restrictions of hers. What would it be like to transcend barriers so long imposed by tradition? Her - white, racist, upscale, snobbish history mingled with his, oriental, accepting, working class background. Would the result be magic? She would do it! She would reach across the seamed wallpaper barrier and take matters into her own hands. She instantly knew it was all worth it when the silk of his tie matched the silk of his lips. What would their new "family" portrait portray?”

I’m also a part of a online writing and critiquing community called Scribophile. It is a website where writers submit their work to be critiqued and in turn critique other’s work. Here are what some of my fellow scriblers saw.

Gary Weblund saw this

Picture scene, ten minute poetry, by Gary Wedlund:

I said, “You’re pretty as a picture.”

“But will you love me.

“When I’m angry?

“And I’m fat.

“And I haven’t had a bath.

“When a diaper’s needing changed.

“Or your namesake’s such a brat?

“Carpooling in a van.

“in-laws cook you spam.

“Will you love me when,

“I’m getting old and tired.

“Wrinkles cross my face.

“Hot flashes and I’m grey.

“Will you love me after,

“Two months back to back.

“To my navel hang my rack.

“You bent on a cane.

“Bedridden and half insane.

“ …

“Then you’re dead.

“No one at your funeral,

“Because of what you did.

“My hand the last to close your lid?”

“Ahum.  Thanks for sharing a drink.  Hat please.”

Adeline Gail saw this

The lights turned off.  Finally.  The occupants of the house had gone to sleep.  We were free from scrutiny. 

Pressing against the surface of the photo, my fingers slipped through becoming three-dimensional.  Poised all day in the same position, it felt good to move.  No longer forced to keep a blank expression, to sit up straight, to be a perfect portrait.  And now I could see him. 

I leaned forward from the wall and reached out to the next gilded frame.  There he was.  A smile grew across my face.  Grabbing his tie, I pulled him from his encasement. 

He laughed and removed his hat.  “Someone’s impatient tonight.” 

I slid to the edge of the framework, pulling him to the corner of his.  Our lips pressed together. 

“I missed you,” I whispered, then kissed him again. 

Immortalized in our portraits, our love would last forever. 

Hans Von Lieven saw this

The photo reminds me of the closing sketches of Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. There they had windows in a wall with people sticking their heads out and saying stupid things. It was a regular finale in all the shows.

Yay For Scribohile!!

My Friend Jody saw this “I think that these two individuals had so much passion for one another that even the stillness of a picture could not contain them”

Chavice saw this “A picture of love!”

Lastly here is what I saw

All of us seem to be born into or adapt to certain roles in life. We are listeners, parents, spouses, friends… the list is endless. It is very easy to get stuck in that role and miss out on what is so close to us because we are stuck in our individual frames. Sometimes you have to magically reach out of what seems possible and grab the impossible… because it’s always worth it.

“Here I am stuck. I have always been here… smiling and looking you in the eyes when you walk by on the way out the door. I think that i remind you of someone… but I don’t know who. I have been content here for so long, but something told me to look over. that’s when I saw him. Intrigue, it was a new feeling for me… but a great one. I had to see him more, touch him, but as I already said here I am stuck. It seems impossible. Nothing worth having doesn’t take work though. So I am going to do something that no one expects, no one even thinks is possible. I am going to reach out of this frame, out of everything that I am supposed to be and do something different. Let’s see what happens.”

So this was everyone!!!  Thanks for everyone who participated!! Thanks for letting me see the world through your eyes.

I'm trying something new with this bloglovin connect thing!!


Follow my blog with bloglovin

CREATE ~ Holiday Pigs

Merry Day after Christmas Y’all!  I had an awesome Christmas with the family!!   We opened gifts, had Christmas Breakfast ( at lunchtime!), played cards ( a family tradition), and had Christmas dinner. It was really great.

Me and Melia decided to make pigs in a blanket last night as a little snack… but we decided to add a little twist to it. We call them Holiday Pigs!!

We started out by Melia making her “A little bit of this, a little bit of that barbeque sauce”. She took a little bit ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, chili powder, liquid smoke, vinegar, and Worcestershire sauce. I don’t know the measurements to tell you… because she doesn’t either. You just have to work at it til it gets just right! then you just add the little smokies in with the sauce and let them cook and soak up that good sauce for a while. Here’s a pic! ( I got Melia a camera for Christmas and we put it to good use last night!!  It caught the steam in the picture.. I thought that was really cool)

Then we took a can of crescent rolls and ripped the crescent rolls into pieces. We pinched just a little bit of crushed pineapple onto each one

Then you add the smokies on and roll them up

Add them all together and bake them in the oven by the crescent roll directions.

And the finished product is a great and scrumptious twist on the classic pigs in a blanket!! the sweetness of the pineapple with the sauce and the smokie and the crescent.. MMMMM!  I want to go make some more!!

So this was my little moment to CREATE something new. What about you?  Any new recipe’s you’ve made?

 

P.S.  Remember the Tell Me What You See Challenge! You can check it out Here

Better Me Epipany ~ Connections

The other day (before my surgery) I got to eat lunch with one of my favorite people. My best friend since the 7th grade. Our friendship has really held on for wuite some time. We had not seen each other in months and had only talked sparsely during that time. When I saw her we lit up and sat and enjoyed each other like no time had passed. I loved it! and it felt really good!
Since my surgery I have had some great time to sit, relax, and think. I started to think about this giant gap in time that it had been since I had seen my friend. Then it hit me.... It's been a lot of time since I have seen a lot of my friends. I haven't returned phone calls, made the effort to see them, I've been unavailable. I work tons and have been telling myself that I have just been too busy to do it all. This is true to an extent.... but for people that you love and care about you can't get caught up in the convenient. It is very easy and convenient to shun everyone aside and think only of what is good for you at the moment... but one day you wake up and you are the only one thinking about what it best for you (when you used to have a whole troup!). So I got that little bang that lets me know ~ YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
We are very privileged to live this life and live it with each other. I have said many times that we were all put here TOGETHER for a reason... but somehow I forgot about that. Our connections with others help us to live better. see differently, love better, and get to know ourselves in entirely different ways. So I made a decision and a promise to myself. I won't let myself become an island for the sake of being busy. Real reltionships and friendships take more effort than a hello in the hall or a "How have you been?" through text. I need to put forth the effort... otherwise I miss out on a giant part of living.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Connections fulfill so many purposes in our lives. We need a shoulder to cry on, and joke to laugh at, and an all knowing smile. anything taken for granted can easily be taken away ~ I won't let that happen. I will remember that life is not all about me and what's easiest for me. I will take the time and show the ones I love... that I love!


P.S. Don't forget about the Tell Me What You See Challenge !! Only few days left to be a part!

Tell Me What You See Challenge

, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

Alright Y’all the Tell Me What You See Challenge has been on hiatus for far too long! The picture above is from a photographer featured in this month’s O Magazine. I saw the picture and it said something to me… and I want to see what it says to you.

The “Tell Me What You See Challenge” is a way for all of us to teach each other something from a different point of view. I am fascinated by the idea that we all experience the same events differently because we all have a unique way of looking at life. This challenge is our way of sharing that view and maybe opening up the eyes of those around us to a whole new way of looking at things.

So here goes!!! The picture above is the topic. We all have one week to write down what we see. It can be a first impression, a poem, a feeling, a story that tells what’s happening here. There are no rules because there are no limits to how we see things. You can post your responses in the comments section or you can email them to me at mark.deer02@gmail.com. A week from now I will post all the responses in a post and we all can go through and see the world through different eyes… even just for a few minutes.

So get those creative juices flowing and share what you see! It matters to me!

To get an idea of how the challenge works here are some of the previous ones!

August ~ Tell Me What You See Challenge

July ~ Tell Me What You See Challenge

See You Soon!

Influences Revisited

, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

So I came across this picture on Flickr and it made me think about the power that we give the people around us. This picture is cute and funny but it really spoke to me. How many times have each of us settled on what other people say about us? It's so easy to let the influences we have dictate who we are and who we are to become. I wrote a whole post about it before... that you can view Here This picture was a great reminder about our responsibility to only allow our lives to be infiltrated by those we desire and allow.

CREATE ~ Christmas

 

Hey Y’all! I am spending the day recovering and relaxing and decided to do my Christmas wrapping. I was traversing through blogger world a while back and saw gifts wrapped in simple packages. I wanted to do that on my own so here goes. I bought a few rolls of Brown shipping paper from K-mart ($2.75 a roll)  then i got out a stamp that I bought recently.

I got some red ink and stamped it on the brown paper

I like the design!!  This is the one my Mom did

We ended up using raffia instead of ribbon

So we tied bows in the packages and I used those tags from my wish list… remember?  They came from my friend StampGirl

This is what the finished ones looked like!

 

It was a little more work than just wrapping presents… but not many people can say that they made their own wrapping paper!!  the options are limitless… but I was obviously a little confined today!

 

Everyday is an opportunity to get out creative juices flowing. We create our lives with each moment and we I think it’s important to fill our lives up with ourselves as well. This is my latest creation…what’s yours?