Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sickness with a side of paranoia please!
Well it has officially been a week since i have put anything on here. I have been sick! Tonsilitis strep throat comatose! I am getting back into the swing of things now though!
Luckily i was at home visiting family when the evil throat monster attacked me. My Mom took wonderful care of me! I survived it. It was very odd being there and depending on another person though. I am an adult... single.. and very used to being self sufficient. So it was very odd to be there and to be taken care of. I have conned myself into believing that a significant other isnt the central purpose in our lives. I have wonderful friends who i spend time with, lots to think and write about... all of that.... i don't need someone else. Not opposed to it but don't need it you know? All of that wonderful ideal and then i have to get sick... not ordinary sick but drool, can't get out of bed, passing through consciousness, can't talk kind of sick... and i needed someone. That is the pitfall for all of "I can do it myselfers" there will always come a time when you have to depend on someone else. So does this mean my theory of being all i need is useless? That i don't know. It's just out of my comfort zone.... but maybe i should change that. Maybe i should find a dependent relationship so someone can wipe my snot when i need it..... You tell me all you wonderful relationshipers ~ if you have great friends and are self sufficient.. do you really need someone to come home to? Why?
Better Me Epiphany ~ Evaluate every concrete ideal you have... you may find some cracks