The Vow – Better Me Epiphany

 

Today me and one of my favorites went and saw "The Vow". It was pretty good and I wanted to share what it made me think about (besides the fact that I'm single and can't fall in love to begin with let alone lose my memory and someone try all over again!) If you have seen any of the commercials then you know the movie is about a couple who are in love, have a car accident and the wife loses her memory of ever being in love. The part of the movie that made me think was when the wife couldn't remember who she had been in the past 5 years but remembered before that... And she seemed to be an entirely different person. It made me think about how we all progress as time goes by. If most of us think back we can remember ourselves thinking and acting differently than we do now. It's a normal part of life... We mature and act differently (sometimes better and sometimes worse). But what struck me was I don't think many of us can look back and say we actively became who we are right now.... At least for me some parts of my life and who I am is not on purpose.

I had the idea of waking up tomorrow and not recognizing my life and not knowing who I am.  What would the people around me tell me my world was like?  The wife in the movie had her husband, her friends, and even her parents trying to piece that life together for her and in some points the life they were telling her she lived didn't add up. After a while and a plot twist she had to separate herself from it all and then decide or discover on her own what that life was and who she was. So it made me think about my own life. Will one day I wake up and not recognize myself or my life? Hopefully not.... But if I or anyone is not careful we can end up there. Not because of a car accident or amnesia but because we did not actively decide for ourselves who we are and what our lives would look like.  It was a huge reminder to me that we create our world with each decision and thought. We can't let circumstances, convenience, friends, family, or anything else do that for us or we will end up where the wife was in the movie. If we take responsibility for ourselves and our lives and actively shape it into what we want then we will never wake up like she did. The Vow was a great reminder of that.

Better Me Epiphany: My life is in my hands. I will not wake up a stranger in my own home. I will create my life I want and take ownership of the outcome.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Eulogy

Most Christians or people who have grown up in the church have heard the term "I die daily". Basically that entails us killing our flesh or dying to it and living by the spirit or the commandments of God. I must admit that I have heard the term dozens of times before. I understood it but it really never hit home with me.

Recently (a few months ago) I got Tye Tribbett's ~gospel singer~ album entitled “Fresh”. It's an interesting album to me because of the instrumentation and song structure (check it out!). Anyways he has a song on there called "Eulogy". The opening words are "I'm writing my own eulogy. Everyone's sad except me". The first time I heard it it really hit me hard. I started to think about death and the void that it can leave in our lives. When someone's gone we can't pick up the phone and call them to talk about something we are upset about, or ask them to pick us up from the store, or get their take on a certain situation. They are gone...period point blank... gone. That's when it hit me. That's what dying to ourselves is. When there are things about us that we don't like we need to write a eulogy for them. When I procrastinate and end up hating it at the last minute I need to let that part of me die. I can't depend on that part of me anymore because it's dead and gone.

So the thought came to me that we are all composed of different parts, different facets, different people. The parts that are harmful and aren't pushing us to out best selves have to be considered dead. Just like I can't call my granny for a recipe anymore I can't call "Liar Mark" for an excuse for something. I don't know if it makes sense to yall but my mind totally opened up when it hit me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The parts of me that are not beneficial to becoming my best self must be considered dead. They are not dormant or filed away for later use, they are dead and cannot be resurrected. I will not call on them for help, coping mechanisms, or pleasure. My life and the actions in it are my responsibility and will not be left to be dealt with by corpses.

 

P.S.  here is the song!!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Sucker Punch

Hey yall!!  Its been quite a while since I've posted anything. I got bogged down with life! Too much to do so I had to take a mini break from blogger. I have started many posts but stopped halfway through because i just couldn't give it what  it needed.... so they will come... eventually!

Over the weekend I had most of a saturday afternoon off and decided to treat myself to a movie. I gave into the hype and went to see "Sucker Punch". The cinematography was wonderful! The actual story of the movie left a little to be desired but I must admit that the movie was entertaining. I always try to see what i can learn (from movies, books, conversations...) and I almost didn't get a thing from the movie. BUT the last minute of the movie said this "we are all equiped with the tools we need".

I love the idea of this statement. It is empowering and puts the responsibility on us. We are responsible for our lives and what becomes of them. We have everything already within us to cultivate our best selves and ultimately our best life. We still need to learn some things along the way but we already have the tools. We have the ability to learn new things and apply them to ourselves.

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will take the responsibilty to make my life the best it can be. I will not blame my situation or circumstances for the condition of my life because i have everything I need inside myself to create the best me. So my tools are out and I'm ready to get to work

Better Me Epiphany ~ What If?

So the other day i had a big case of the What If's ~ and not the good kind. You know one of those moments where doubt rushes in and hits you real hard

What if no one cares?

What if I never move forward?

What if I never become anymore than I am now?

What If I'm wasting my time?

What if none of this will ever be worth it?

Depressing right? Tell me about it! I think we all go through these little moments, but that doesn't make them any easier. I don't know where all those thoughts came from but I know it's a place that I refuse to stay. Fear has the sneakiest way of creeping in and crippling who we are and who we will be. It can be so convincing and can litterally pull you backwards in life. I believe that fear is deceit in its purest form. It takes everything in life and distorts it and has all us believing in something that isn't true. When we believe lies we act accordingly and everything is thrown off.

I decided a long time ago to enjoy my life exactly how it is right this instant. It's the only life that we have to enjoy. I may never have a blog following of 15,000. I may never right a book that ends up on the Oprah book club list. I may never have a booming business. That is ok, because those are all extraneous things. I know in the very deepest part of me that who I am is not determined by these things. My identity lies in what I choose. So each day I will continue to do the things I love, share the things I care about, and enjoy life in spite of what fear, doubt, and anything else tell me. It won't trick me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The what ifs in life will always try to cover up what is. Every time fear trys to distort my lifes' image it is my responsibility to step back, focus, and remember the truth. Today will be the event of a lifetime every time it comes.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Lose Your Grip

Closing doors (365/365), originally uploaded by JenniPenni.

These past few days have been a huge reminder of the tenacity of the human spirit. No matter what, we all have the ability to hold on. The only thing is that sometimes its time for us to just let go.

I have millions of examples... I was cruising through facebook and saw a status update of a friend declaring for the 100th time that they are so glad their ex is out of their life (they were out 3 months ago... still holding on), a friend of mine brought up a time when he was snubbed for something months ago, and ME ~ I was talking to my friend and a name was brought up. I frowned my face and my friend asked when are you going to get over all that. I responded that I was over it, but I won't forget the lesson learned. I'm wondering if I really am though. I don't ever think about that person or the situation unless it's brought up. I'm not harboring ill feelings against them... but I do have a certain perception of them because of the whole situation.

It is easy to go back . Our rearview mirror can take us so far back in an instant. It would be no problem to replay that whole scene over and over and talk about how I was right and they were wrong and I can feel justified in my attitude. But whats the point? Things in our past are over for a reason. We don't have to go back and drudge up all the old hurts, worries, and disapointments. The only thing that can do is muddy up our present. When we replay all of those things over and over we are painting our minds with them. A mind painted with hurt, disapointment, and worry (however real and valid) can only produce more of the same. So the point is to learn from it but don't relive it. We all go through things as a way of teaching us and stretching us into our best selves. So the next time I hear a certain name I don't have to turn up my face, because I won't relive that hurt. I will simply think of the lesson learned and let the rest stay in the past where it belongs.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Reliving a life that already happened is as redundant as this sentence. I won't waste my time, life, or energy focusing on a past that can't be rewritten. It happened.. I survived... I learned... and now I'm letting go and moving forward.

Better Me Epiphany ~ A New Year

We are officially in a new year! Everyone has been asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are for the upcoming year. I responded with a blank stare and a pregnant pause……  I don’t know that I have any right now. This may sound crazy because this year is the perfect time to start over ~ It is chock  full of 1’s. 1/01/11 (Doesn’t this look like a setup for everything to start over?). If you have ever read any of my old posts then you know I fiercely believe in starting over every day, hour, moment, second. We don’t need a calendar full of 1’s or even a sunrise. We have the ability to stop whatever we are doing in that moment and change. I love that idea because it means that we can literally have 86,400 chances to start over every day (that's the number of seconds in a day).

      So I say all of that not to make lightly of the New Year or the New Years resolutions ~ they are grand and wonderful and the most consistent reminder of a new start ~ but I say this all to point out that we don’t have to limit ourselves to that. So many times we resolve to do something in the new year… we mess up.. and then we quit. I put its picture of a spider web up because it is a great reminder to me about new beginnings. Every day that spider laboriously builds it’s web, and every night the dew drops, the wind blows, or a by stander haphazardly walks through it, and it is destroyed. Even the purpose of the web destroys it when a bug gets stuck in it and flails around it messes it up. The spider is continually rebuilding, redoing, and restarting. It takes a lot of dedication, but for the spider it is a matter of survival. So I challenge you and I challenge myself to do the same thing as that spider. persevere like our very survival depends on it ~ because it does. When we mess up, have a setback, walk completely in the opposite direction of where we said we would head, we will not give up. We will simply spin a new web with each new moment and build our lives and our very being into exactly what we set out to do.

Better Me Epiphany: I will remember the web. Destruction is sometimes evident, but it is never the final outcome. My life is what I make it and the chances to change course are only limited by the seconds I have in my lifetime.

Better Me Epipany ~ Connections

The other day (before my surgery) I got to eat lunch with one of my favorite people. My best friend since the 7th grade. Our friendship has really held on for wuite some time. We had not seen each other in months and had only talked sparsely during that time. When I saw her we lit up and sat and enjoyed each other like no time had passed. I loved it! and it felt really good!
Since my surgery I have had some great time to sit, relax, and think. I started to think about this giant gap in time that it had been since I had seen my friend. Then it hit me.... It's been a lot of time since I have seen a lot of my friends. I haven't returned phone calls, made the effort to see them, I've been unavailable. I work tons and have been telling myself that I have just been too busy to do it all. This is true to an extent.... but for people that you love and care about you can't get caught up in the convenient. It is very easy and convenient to shun everyone aside and think only of what is good for you at the moment... but one day you wake up and you are the only one thinking about what it best for you (when you used to have a whole troup!). So I got that little bang that lets me know ~ YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
We are very privileged to live this life and live it with each other. I have said many times that we were all put here TOGETHER for a reason... but somehow I forgot about that. Our connections with others help us to live better. see differently, love better, and get to know ourselves in entirely different ways. So I made a decision and a promise to myself. I won't let myself become an island for the sake of being busy. Real reltionships and friendships take more effort than a hello in the hall or a "How have you been?" through text. I need to put forth the effort... otherwise I miss out on a giant part of living.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Connections fulfill so many purposes in our lives. We need a shoulder to cry on, and joke to laugh at, and an all knowing smile. anything taken for granted can easily be taken away ~ I won't let that happen. I will remember that life is not all about me and what's easiest for me. I will take the time and show the ones I love... that I love!


P.S. Don't forget about the Tell Me What You See Challenge !! Only few days left to be a part!

Book Review ~ Three Little Words

I just finished Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Coulter. It was the pick for a book club I'm in called “The Sophistareaders". The book is memoir of Ashley's early life in foster care. As a social worker this book was especially interesting and touching. We follow Ashley from her entrance into foster care to her exit. It is a very harrowing story. Her time in foster care was during a period where Florida's foster care system was at its worst and her story helped to change that system. Ashley came from a family with significant issues and put into a system with just as many significant issues. She was put in the charge of many careless social workers and countless placements. She was literally forgotten and persevered through it all.

Here's what I got from the story.

Ashley was shifted from place to place and developed some pretty severe attachment issues. She was moved from place to place and no one stopped and asked her how she felt about all of it. She lost her voice. Many times all of us go through periods where the circumstances in our lives make us feel like we have lost all control of it. We don't always have the ability to control these circumstances. It is a place that is infused with hopelessness, and if nothing changes it is easy for us to stay there. Ashley held onto one hope, to return to her mother, and was constantly disappointed. Her mother never could seem to get things together so that she could be the mother that Ashley needed. Ashley was moved around a lot ~ lived with pedophiles, overcrowded homes, and even abusive homes. She really did become hopeless. She lost hope that she would ever find a place to call home. She knew that however great a place seemed it had an expiration date.

After many years of going through this “return to sender" cycle, she was finally appointed a guardian as litem. They are there to look after the child's best interest. They are the voice of the child in foster care. This one person came along and fought for Ashley. She listened to her, and she made a change in Ashley's life. This one person got her out of her abusive placement and advocated for her until she found a permanent home. This is what stuck with me ~ the power that one individual can have to affect change in the lives around them. We all have that capability and responsibility. We don't have to have the enormous responsibility of being a child's voice in a broken system to affect change. We can do it every second of every day. It is a smile, and shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen. But it takes us stopping, forgetting about our busy day and self importance, and taking the time to care. I think that Ashley's life could have been so much less tumultuous if someone stopped and cared sooner.

When Ashley got this guardian who was her voice she eventually found her own. She let down all of the defense mechanisms that she developed to deal with living in the system and allowed an adoptive family to love her and herself to love them back. She made it through it all. She spoke out about the protective system that damaged her most and she helped change it.

The book is an amazing story about an amazing life. After looking at her life I know that in my hopeless situations I won't give up. The start almost never looks like the finish.

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will care about the lives around me. I will make a change for others by first making changes for myself. My future is not dictated by my current situations.

Better Me Epiphany ~ What I Say Matters

So remember my conundrum last week? I think I found the answer. After i posted that, my friend Laura posted a comment that said that our beliefs are the core of who we are and that if we don't really believe them then who are we really. This of course blew right past me until later that night when me and my sister were talking. My sister basically said that we should have faith in our beliefs.... pretty simple right? Well it hit me hard and I realized that I was walking around saying that I believe in things but not believing in the power of them. So as Laura basically said "whats the point".

You know I named this blog "What I Say Matters" very intentionally. I believe in the power of our words. The words that we say shape the world around us. But somewhere I think that got lost. I was stuck in the spot where I was believing that people's minds are made up... so why should I try to convince them otherwise. I was doubting the power of my beliefs. My sister told me that it's not our jobs to convince anyone of anything. We simply have to share it, and the power that lies in that truth, my truth, and your truth will do the work. This applies in so many circumstances ~ I put my beliefs out there everyday. I need to not make it about my power to convince and leave it to the truth's power to convince. That truth can be so many things~ changing influences, positive outlook, reflection, and of course my faith... all those things.

So i can share what I believe to be true (as I have on this blog) without disrespecting anyone else's beliefs. They don't have to agree and it's not my job to make them agree.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The moment I stop believing in the power of my beliefs is the moment that they are not real to me. I am not the convincer, truth is. I will express it because I believe it. What I Say Matters because it is my truth.

Respect Vs. Shame ~ Reflect

my best friend and i were talking tonight over Applebees (spinach dip! Gotta love it!) He was catching me up on what has been going on at church ~ I haven't been in a while becuase I work every sunday. Apparently my pastor has been talking about traditionalism in our faith and the importance of being spirit led rather than tradition led. My pastor went on to say that when traditional people attack your worship you have the right tell them the truth very adamantly about what the Bible says about how you worship. This struck a cord with me and started a whole different discussion.

   Basically that did not sit well with me. I grew up in a very radical and liberal church. We had very spirit led worship and did not play by many of the rules of most churches. I firmly believe in that style of worship. What came along with that though, was a sense of haughtiness. I remember actually feeling superior to other believers because we had tapped into the power of God and other denominations with things like church programs and church membership didn't. After i went to college i was exposed to a lot more and i realized that although other people had what felt like a very rigid way of worshiping to me it was worship to them. So thats when I decided that there isn't always one right way to have church and worship God. I never wanted to go back to that place of superiority, and internalized the mantra that if it works for you then good.

  I adopted this in many different aspects of my life and I think that it has helped to be more openminded when speaking to people of other faiths and ways of thinking. My friend said that we should be able to share what we believe to help others understand what we believe and maybe change their minds about some things. When he said that all i could think was... is what I have to say really going to change what they believe. I immediately felt a pang and realized that by excepting the mantra of "if it works for you then good" that I was really giving up on sharing what I believe. I am talking spiritually but this applies on all levels. So I'm stuck. I always say who am I to say that I know better, that my way of doing is better than theirs. I firmly believe that we all have to do whats in our hearts to do and we all do it in different ways. If we did it all the same way wouldn't that be a boring world. But where is the middleground. Do i express my beliefs without expecting results? If so why express them at all? Or do I tell it all like I have all the answers? I know there is somewhere in between....  What do you do?

  I think it is very easy for our respect for others beliefs to become a sort of shame for our own. So I'm at a stand-still ~ help me out Yall!

P.S. the picture i my confused look!

Book Club Update ~ The Sophistareaders

So our book club found a name! The name I offered up was "The all inclusive not exclusive book club for social workers and no one else" ..... apparently that was a little long winded so we settled in on "The Sophistareaders". We are sophisticated and we read!

   I am a little past halway though our first selection "Three Little Words". It is a memoir of child in foster care and chronicles her journey through. I will post a full review later but for now I'll tell you what I have got so far. The book is an easy read but is definitely worth reading. It does a good job of showing what foster care can be like through the eyes of a child. Parts of it have been pretty harrowing. The majority of the social workers throughout this child's story have been careless and selfish. It really struck a cord with me because that is what I do everyday (social work with families ~ hopefully not be careless and selfish!). I know how easy it is to make my job about me and not about the families that I serve. I think we all do that in different ways.... we are stuck in our bodies and in our worlds and we often lose sight of the others in it. It takes diligence on our parts to listen to our friends, care for our loved ones, and offer a smile to strangers on the street. I think it's natural for our focus to hone in on ourselves, but we have to change that. We have to realize that we are here together for each other, and lay down the selfish ritual of assessing each situation as how it may affect us. Our decisions everyday affect those around us in every way ~ think of traffic! Slow cars, fast cars, bad drivers ~ all are on the road together and what one car does determines how the others that follow will go. It's the same with ua in our daily walks, my daily actions are steering the course of the people arounds me's day. I could just be talking to me! ~ but i hope if it applies you will take it to heart too. So I will keep reading and Y'all get ready for the full review... very soon!

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will factor others into the equation and take all the focus off of myself. I will not squander the responsibility of this shared experience of life.

Better Me Epiphany ~ All of Me

So me and my bestie were having a conversation about relationships. He said that it's good that you can offer someone something that no one else has been able to. I replied by saying everyone wants parts but not the whole thing. When i said that it really stuck with me and made me think about relationships. We all have roles in relationships (friendships). Some of us are the talkers, or listeners, or entertainment, and so on. Whenever that friend calls you listen,, the other you discuss the deepest of subjects, and the other you make laugh. I don't think there is anything wrong with that unless that becomes the only part of us that gets light with that person. When that happens you are always stuck listening or always saying something silly. I say thats a problem becuase no one is just one thing. We all have different facets to ourselves. Sometimes we have something to get off our chest and sometimes we have a valid point that we want to discuss. The easy answer is to go to the friend or loved one that fits into the role that best suits your needs. That may work, but it only perpetuates the cycle. I believe that a good relationship is one that celebrates all your parts and not just the part that conveniently fills someone's need. By celebrate I mean that we have the oppurtinity to be all of who we are. No one can be all things to all people. When you try you are pulled into a million different places, and have to change clothes for each new role that you are to fit into. That is not healthy and it is not authentic. Every relationship that we have is not going to be that deep though. I don't think it's possible to be that invested in so many people, but the relationships that are real ~ The ones that are filled with people that we love and spend the meat of our lives in should be. I am a talker, a listener, a laugher, a silly joke teller, a thinker and so much more. Anyone who doesn't want all of that from me doesn't deserve any of me. It is selfish to fill our lives with people who are around for convenient purposes and nothing else.

Better Me Epiphany ~ i will be all of who I am everyday that I'm living and expect nothing less from those who take all of me in

Better Me Epiphany ~ Own It

People can be our greatest blessing and our greatest curse. We spend everyday with each other and no one is an island. Sometimes we are around the greatest and most uplifting people and sometimes we are are surrounded by mountains of negativity. I believe we should always choose our influences and make every effort to surround ourselves with the best people, but sometimes that just isn't possible. We are all forced to be exposed to people that sometimes we normally wouldn't be around. They could be coworkers, church members, friends' friends.... the list goes on. These situations can be intimidating and draining and imminent. So what do we do?

I believe that our best way to combat this and enjoy a life cast with characters that we didn't pick is to own every situation that we are in. That means knowing who you are and not letting anyone or anything convince you otherwise. It doesn't require you to be abrasive or dominant. You just have to be sure. So the next time you are in a situation and there is someone there pumping you with negativity, belittling you, or being just plain rude ~ you have to make a concious decision. You have to say within yourself "I Know who I am and nothing will convince me otherwise".

So.... so what if they don't respect you

YOU RESPECT YOURSELF

So what if they tell you that you're unlovable

YOU LOVE YOURSELF

So what if they say the sun is sour and the earth is nothing but mud

YOU SEE A BLESSING IN WARMTH AND WALK ON SOLID GROUND

With this being said we don't have an excuse for the things said or done to us. Those things don't matter because we know better

Better Me Epiphany: No one else has the power to dictate who I am or how I feel. My indentity lies in what I choose.

Lesson 2 ~ Choose Your Influences

While in New York I had a delicious meal at Serendipity and ended it all with their world famous frozen hot chocolate. It was wonderful! The restaurant was small and had the quintessential New York feeling to it (at least to me!). I went there because a while back Oprah went there on her show. She said it was something everyone should have in their lifetime (and I agree!) So I had to go.

In case no one has noticed she (the Big O) is an influence of mine. This made me think a little about the other influences in my life and their importance. We all have influences in our lives whether it be where we live, the people we admire, friends, coworkers, music, literature, or religon. They all play a major part in who and what we are. It's easy to leave it at that and move on.... but yall know I'm on this kick of deciding who we are. One way that we do that is to decide what influences us. My Mom is the perfect example. She is a devout Christian and pretty much only exposes herself to things that fall in line with that. She only listens to Christian music, reads Christian books, Christian programming.... and the majority of her friends are...... yup.. Christians! I admire her for cultivating her life into exactly what she desires, I believe that she is who she wants to be. Each of us should be doing the exact same thing, we should build our lives up into what we want them to be ~ which includes our influences. If you want a postive life cut out the negative people, if you want a healthy life you might want to spend a little less time with your foody friends! and so on and so on.

So the question from here is who do you want to be? What influences are in your life and are they contributing to who you want to be. For me I'm trying to expose myself to as much as possible, and at the same time not expose myself to everything out there. I cut out tv almost completely ( I watch Charlie Rose, sometimes SNL, and very seldomly 90's sitcoms). I personally believe that entertainment breeds mediocrity (future post to come....sometime!), thats why I cut it out. I read now....I know it's still entertainment but it's active entertainment, and I tend to learn something about myself or the world around me from a good book. The point is that we should all make very deliberate decisions as to what and who our influences are. We only have this one life and this one moment at a time and I think we should make it exactly how we want it.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Part of who I am and am to become is influenced by what I expose myself to on a daily basis. I will make a conscious effort to keep an open mind but still take the responsibility to decide what exposure pushes me into my best self.

Lesson #1 ~ Do What You Love

Alright here goes my first thought from my wonderful New York trip. I went with a few people to New York to give school supplies to a church in Hell's Kitchen NY and to help distribute them to some of the people in need last week. It's my second time doing it and a great oppurtunity to spread some salt and light (and see a wonderful city!). On the way there we stopped at one of my friends cousins houses. We'll call them the J's because i don't know if they want to be talked about on the internet! Ha!

  Anyways, the J's are amazing people! One is retired military and the other is a retired school teacher. They are retired but still involved in their fields in different capacities. They were very welcoming and had the type of home that is filled to the brim with memories, whether it was a collection antigue mirrors in all shapes and sizes, every teapot you can imagine, or dozens of postcards from good friends all around the world. I walked through their home and could tell that they lived full lives and knew how to enjoy the things they loved. They travel the world, enjoy opera, sing opera, cook decadent (and healthy) meals, and create (she makes wonderful glass collage window pieces! Awesome to look at). It was nice to see people living full lives and they really inspired me.

While i was on the trip i picked up the latest O Magazine (I love Oprah and no one will ever convince me otherwise!). This issue was the power issue, it was full of amazing people who have that sparkle that it takes to be a person of power ~ I think we all have it we just have to find it. In the magazine there was a section about the 6 rules to personal power. One of these rules is to live passionately. I don't think it's coincidence that i got this issue on this trip (it all ties together). The rule to live passionately is to find what inspires you and that your passionate about and work more and more of it into your life, just like the J's do. It's something that I already knew but it just kind of clicked on this trip when I really saw a bonafide example of it in practice.  So my decision today is to do just that, fill my life with the things( and people) that I'm passionate about. I hope you'll join me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ if you love it, do it. There is nothing more simple than that. I won't wait for it, I'll make it happen everyday and every moment.

Paradise

So i was gathering up some books to send off to one of my sister's friends for one of her classes. She has to read all of Toni Morrison's books for a lit class. (Side note~ Toni Morrison is my favorite author of all time~ please pick up one of her books! It won't be an easy read but i will stretch you in ways you never thought. I love her) anyways i came across her book called Paradise. One of the major themes of the book is that of exclusion. "Paradise is often defined by what is not allowed in". I think that is a pretty accurate view of how we define paradise. We often hear " the perfect place would be a place with no crime, no hatred, no hunger, no this or that". For some reason this all made me think about the mosque controversy. I won't say that ground zero is supposed to be anyone's paradise, but what i am saying is that it seems we are still defining what we think should be by trying to keep out what we think shouldn't be ( i may be rambling... i'm. Good at that!) The point is that is we spend all of our time trying to keep everything out what are we really cultivating? I think our daily lives are our paradise.  None of us know all the answers and none of know exactly what is the best way. Oftentimes we have no way of knowing what will enrich us until it does. So my question today is how do you define paradise? What are you keeping out? I think we need to pay attention to that and not be so quick to rule everything or everybody out. We have no idea how the person that we ruled out can affect us and make us grow. I'm not suggesting that anyone compromise their beliefs but evaluate some things and you may find that the paradise you have created for yourself is not the paradise that was intended for you. Walls may keep things out but they also keep you in.

Better Me Epiphany~ i will no longer define a good life by what can't be in it. I will no longer rule out those that don't fit into my view of what they should be. I will cultivate my life and try to take every experience and learn. Paradise will not be about exclusion, it will be defined but whats in it and not whats not allowed.

Change

Change, originally uploaded by ʞʍɐɥʎɐɾ.

Just because you are in the dirt doesn't make you a flower. It is the same with moving forward spiritually. Making a choice and acting on it doesn't guarantee instant results. Just like a flower starts at a seed and has to germinate then grown then bud and then bloom, so do we in our daily lives. There is no portal into it but every day is a path to it. We shouldn't beat ourselves up over the process... just move forward in it. Remember we are all on the journey so look at your friends and family (and those who just grate your nerves!) as people in process! I think it’ll make you see things (and those around you) a little differently... it does me!! Alright y'all let's keep moving forward!!

Thought of the night!

Life is good everyday that we have it. We just have to decide to believe it.

Back from the land of procrastination

"Forget about the worries of the past... they'll only contrast with what the future holds" ~ Adrianne Archie

This is a lyric to a song by Adrianne Archie that I wanted to share. I have been in a distant land for the past week and a half... it is a land that is quite deceiving... it is known only as "Procrastination" and yes it is a nation unto itself! I have no idea why I decided to visit but I did and was captured and have not written or thought for way too long! So I'm back! I was stuck in a little rut and just felt... well uninspired. You know how you are really excited about something and you tell the people around you and they just kind of give you a blank stare? Well that's what it was like when I told people about this blog. Then I hopped the plane and crossed over the river of despair(it is much darker than the brochure stated) and into procrastination. So once I was there I started beating myself up, calling myself names and then I came across that song and I smiled. I said "you know what? So what I've been a slacker and haven't exactly followed through on my intent to write! Putting it off won't change that fact" So I am forgetting this slight lull and moving full speed ahead. I enjoy it and I will do it. I cannot wait to see the contrast between my past and my future.

Better Me Epiphany ~ My past is only there to make my future brighter. Mess-ups, mistakes, regrets only add color to the painting. The main thing to do is to keep the brush wet.

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The Company You Keep

There is nothing like good food and good people.

Today i had luch with some friends ~ some good friends and some I don't know the best but enjoy them just the same. It was a great lunch full of laughs and good conversation. For those of you who know me you know i love to eat and talk!  So lunch was nice we talked and laughed and just relished each others company. The conversation was easy and positive and when it was all done i left happy and ready for the rest of the day.

I got to thinking about it and wondered why isn't every day like this? Why is it that sometimes i leave a meal with "friends" and feel like a mack truck has run me and a woodland animal over at the same time? So i decided that won't happen anymore and that starts with me. No longer will I sit back and entertain negativity or add my own salt to the stew. I think to be around good company you have to be good company ~ it goes along with the saying to have good friends you have to be one first. So i will try to be good company. It'll be tough ~ sometimes a mean juicy story tastes so good coming out. But the payoff isn't equal to the feeling you have when you know you've spent an hour uplifted. Now i know everyone has bad days ~ no one can be sunny all the time. But there is a difference between a cloudy day and a cloudy life. So i am planning to spend my time in the sun and hopefully can sun up the people around me as well.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Cherish whats good. Feed it, weed it, and cultivate the most joyous life possible and put everything that doesn't fit into that in the compost.