What I Say Matters

Paper Smooches Challenge 2!

2012-01-22T21:09:00.001-08:00

Hey Yall!! So I did not win the last Paper Smooches Challenge… but I did order a new set of their stamps called “Fall for You”. I LOVE this stamp set. Well the wonderful people at Paper Smooches are having another challenge!! Here is the inspiration pic!

So I made this card!

I used the apple from the “Fall for You” set and stamped the apple on a piece of white die-cut/embossed paper. I colored the leaf with Copic Marker ( I’m still experimenting with them). I paper pieced the apple and stem with pink polka-dotted (like the walls) and wood grain paper. Then I paper pieced the “meat” of the apple on white card stock that I colored with Copic markers. Then I used the small heart stamp in the set as little heart apple seeds! Then i put that over some die-cut/embossed pink and green Brocade paper (like the brocade bed spread). I outlined that with some faux stitching. Then i put it all on a Kraft cardstock base and stamped the “I love you to my core” on the bottom. Then I filled in the little hearts with Copic markers.

So here is my entry!! Wish me luck yall!!

Copic Markers

2012-01-09T21:09:00.001-08:00

So I have seen quite a few YouTube videos with people using copic markers to color in their stamped images... So I decided to give it a try! Here is my first go round! Tell me what you think

Paper Smooches Sparks Challenge!

2012-01-06T21:50:00.001-08:00

Paper Smooches is a wonderful new stamp company with some awesome and creative stamps. Every month they have a card making challenge using their stamps called the Sparks Challenge. They give you an inspiration photo and then you use that and make a card. It reminds me of our very own Tell Me What You See Challenge! So this month I decided to play along and enter the challenge!

Here is the inspiration photo

Here is what I came up with

So with this card I started with a Nestabilities die cut and cut my card base and the white background. I embossed the edges of the white background with the same die. Then I die cut circles of different sizes fro different colored paper for the rainbow. I stamped the clouds (not paper smooches.... but still cute.) I used an embossing folder and added texture to the clouds and then smudged some silver/gray ink over the top to give it a little more dimension. Then I assembled the rainbow and ran used an embossing folder on the as well. I added those to the card and then used the the great "You're Special" Stamp. The stamp is from Paper Smooches Sentiment Sampler stamp set ( Btw I Love this set! It's so versatile!) And the end result is this card!

So I hope Yall like it and wish me Luck!! The Winner wins free stamp sets!!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Eulogy

2011-04-02T22:12:00.001-07:00

Most Christians or people who have grown up in the church have heard the term "I die daily". Basically that entails us killing our flesh or dying to it and living by the spirit or the commandments of God. I must admit that I have heard the term dozens of times before. I understood it but it really never hit home with me.

Recently (a few months ago) I got Tye Tribbett's ~gospel singer~ album entitled “Fresh”. It's an interesting album to me because of the instrumentation and song structure (check it out!). Anyways he has a song on there called "Eulogy". The opening words are "I'm writing my own eulogy. Everyone's sad except me". The first time I heard it it really hit me hard. I started to think about death and the void that it can leave in our lives. When someone's gone we can't pick up the phone and call them to talk about something we are upset about, or ask them to pick us up from the store, or get their take on a certain situation. They are gone...period point blank... gone. That's when it hit me. That's what dying to ourselves is. When there are things about us that we don't like we need to write a eulogy for them. When I procrastinate and end up hating it at the last minute I need to let that part of me die. I can't depend on that part of me anymore because it's dead and gone.

So the thought came to me that we are all composed of different parts, different facets, different people. The parts that are harmful and aren't pushing us to out best selves have to be considered dead. Just like I can't call my granny for a recipe anymore I can't call "Liar Mark" for an excuse for something. I don't know if it makes sense to yall but my mind totally opened up when it hit me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The parts of me that are not beneficial to becoming my best self must be considered dead. They are not dormant or filed away for later use, they are dead and cannot be resurrected. I will not call on them for help, coping mechanisms, or pleasure. My life and the actions in it are my responsibility and will not be left to be dealt with by corpses.

P.S. here is the song!!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Sucker Punch

2011-03-28T20:52:00.001-07:00

Hey yall!! Its been quite a while since I've posted anything. I got bogged down with life! Too much to do so I had to take a mini break from blogger. I have started many posts but stopped halfway through because i just couldn't give it what it needed.... so they will come... eventually!

Over the weekend I had most of a saturday afternoon off and decided to treat myself to a movie. I gave into the hype and went to see "Sucker Punch". The cinematography was wonderful! The actual story of the movie left a little to be desired but I must admit that the movie was entertaining. I always try to see what i can learn (from movies, books, conversations...) and I almost didn't get a thing from the movie. BUT the last minute of the movie said this "we are all equiped with the tools we need".

I love the idea of this statement. It is empowering and puts the responsibility on us. We are responsible for our lives and what becomes of them. We have everything already within us to cultivate our best selves and ultimately our best life. We still need to learn some things along the way but we already have the tools. We have the ability to learn new things and apply them to ourselves.

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will take the responsibilty to make my life the best it can be. I will not blame my situation or circumstances for the condition of my life because i have everything I need inside myself to create the best me. So my tools are out and I'm ready to get to work

Rediscovered Right ~ Beautifully Human – Jill Scott

2011-02-13T20:59:00.001-08:00

So I was going through my music list that I have been adding to for years and came across Jill Scotts second album "Words and Sounds Vol II". I love Jill Scott and this was the first album of hers that I ever got. A friend loaned-then-gave it to me. It is what made me fall in love with her. Anyways I rediscovered this album and have been listening to it like crazy for a week now! So I figured I should share it!
For those of you that don't know Jill let me introduce you. She is a sultry singer who packs every song with meaning. It's not this catchy-tune music that you sing along to but has no meaning type of music. Her music tells a story with each word and chord and nuance. I feel like I've been somewhere after I listen to her music.

tracks ~
I am not afraid – This song talks about her unwillingness to be afraid of what it means to be a woman. To feel, to create, to bear children… She even says Glutinous!!

Golden - I LOVE this song. It is all about the freedom that we all have in each of us. Harness that freedom and live each minute, second, day like it's golden... because it is

The fact is (I need You) –This is a beautifully constructed song that talks about all the ways that she is adequate - she can buy her own shoes, stain and polyurethane... everything but still she needs a man. I like it because it's a reminder that all of us our sufficient in ourselves but that sometimes we just need someone else.

Cross my mind - It talks about remembering that past love - remembering all the good things about them and it ends up remembering that they didn't work out for a reason. I think we all go through those little episodes where we look back and want to call the ex then we get that all important FLASH ~ the "oh yeah that why we aren't together flash" but it's still good to reminisce sometimes.

Bedda at home - This song is all about being faithful. She starts off describing this man she sees and all the wonderful things he is and can offer.. but realizes as good as he may seem she has something "Bedda at home"!

Talk to Me - This is my favorite song on the album. It's about the dynamic between men and women in relationships. Sometimes guys just don't talk and the women take it to mean something else. I love this song because halfway through it changes course and turns into a nice jazz song ~ Brilliant

Family Reunion - Tells the story of her family reunion. I don't know how she does it but in a 5 minute song i feel like i know her family all to well. chorus says "What can you say it's family". every family has it's flaws but we are still a part and still connected by love.

Can't explain - A song where Jill asks for forgiveness for messing up in her relationship. My favorite line is "just because you have a nightmare doesn't mean you stop dreaming" I LOVE that line. It says what we should forever say every time we get hurt or discouraged and want to give up. Sometimes nightmares come but if we stop altogether then we miss out on the sweetest dreams too.

Whatever - This is a sexy song. Jill tells the story of her previous evening with her husband and offers him "Whatever' he wants because he's earned it!!

Nothing - A sweet intro that says "nothing is more beautiful than loving you"

Rasool - This is a cause song. Jill tells the story of a young man named Rasool that was shot and killed in street when she was a teenager. It is a song imploring all of us to evaluate our decisions and how they affect our lives and the lives of others

My Petition - I love this song!! It's a political song about our governments obligations to us disguised as a love song asking for honesty. You have to hear it!

So that is a quick look at a great album!! You have to give it a listen. here is clip of her singing "My Petition" live. I just love her presence.

What have you been listening to lately?

Better Me Epiphany ~ What If?

2011-01-28T08:26:00.001-08:00

So the other day i had a big case of the What If's ~ and not the good kind. You know one of those moments where doubt rushes in and hits you real hard

What if no one cares?

What if I never move forward?

What if I never become anymore than I am now?

What If I'm wasting my time?

What if none of this will ever be worth it?

Depressing right? Tell me about it! I think we all go through these little moments, but that doesn't make them any easier. I don't know where all those thoughts came from but I know it's a place that I refuse to stay. Fear has the sneakiest way of creeping in and crippling who we are and who we will be. It can be so convincing and can litterally pull you backwards in life. I believe that fear is deceit in its purest form. It takes everything in life and distorts it and has all us believing in something that isn't true. When we believe lies we act accordingly and everything is thrown off.

I decided a long time ago to enjoy my life exactly how it is right this instant. It's the only life that we have to enjoy. I may never have a blog following of 15,000. I may never right a book that ends up on the Oprah book club list. I may never have a booming business. That is ok, because those are all extraneous things. I know in the very deepest part of me that who I am is not determined by these things. My identity lies in what I choose. So each day I will continue to do the things I love, share the things I care about, and enjoy life in spite of what fear, doubt, and anything else tell me. It won't trick me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The what ifs in life will always try to cover up what is. Every time fear trys to distort my lifes' image it is my responsibility to step back, focus, and remember the truth. Today will be the event of a lifetime every time it comes.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Lose Your Grip

2011-01-18T10:12:00.001-08:00

Closing doors (365/365), originally uploaded by JenniPenni.

These past few days have been a huge reminder of the tenacity of the human spirit. No matter what, we all have the ability to hold on. The only thing is that sometimes its time for us to just let go.

I have millions of examples... I was cruising through facebook and saw a status update of a friend declaring for the 100th time that they are so glad their ex is out of their life (they were out 3 months ago... still holding on), a friend of mine brought up a time when he was snubbed for something months ago, and ME ~ I was talking to my friend and a name was brought up. I frowned my face and my friend asked when are you going to get over all that. I responded that I was over it, but I won't forget the lesson learned. I'm wondering if I really am though. I don't ever think about that person or the situation unless it's brought up. I'm not harboring ill feelings against them... but I do have a certain perception of them because of the whole situation.

It is easy to go back . Our rearview mirror can take us so far back in an instant. It would be no problem to replay that whole scene over and over and talk about how I was right and they were wrong and I can feel justified in my attitude. But whats the point? Things in our past are over for a reason. We don't have to go back and drudge up all the old hurts, worries, and disapointments. The only thing that can do is muddy up our present. When we replay all of those things over and over we are painting our minds with them. A mind painted with hurt, disapointment, and worry (however real and valid) can only produce more of the same. So the point is to learn from it but don't relive it. We all go through things as a way of teaching us and stretching us into our best selves. So the next time I hear a certain name I don't have to turn up my face, because I won't relive that hurt. I will simply think of the lesson learned and let the rest stay in the past where it belongs.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Reliving a life that already happened is as redundant as this sentence. I won't waste my time, life, or energy focusing on a past that can't be rewritten. It happened.. I survived... I learned... and now I'm letting go and moving forward.

CREATE ~ Valentine’s Card

2011-01-12T21:29:00.001-08:00

Hey Y’all!! So I have been really excited about this whole card making thing! I have kind of gone crazy buying craft supplies lately! I am stopping myself… no more… for a week! Ha! Anyways I wanted to share my latest card! Tell me what you think!

Here is the cover!

And here is the inside

Here’s another

Here is the inside with a matching envelope

What do you think?

The Sophistareaders ~ Skipping Christmas

2011-01-11T14:29:00.001-08:00

Hey Ya’ll! Well the book for December was very appropriately picked by Laura! It was called Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. It is the book that the movie Christmas with the Kranks was based off of. It was a fun read and a fun book club meeting too!

We had Japanese! I had the Fuji roll… and it was delicious!! We just sat around and discussed the book. Laura asked us if we could ever “skip Christmas” and not celebrate. Most of us decided that we couldn’t . One of the great things about Christmas and most major holidays are the family traditions that come right along with it. I don’t think I could give up waking up to a fire on Christmas morning with my family all around eating Cinnamon rolls!! Or the multitude of card games that follow. We love to play cards in my family (all of us are the worst losers too!! It makes it very interesting!!) Pus the most important thing about Christmas is the real meaning behind it. I don’t think I could go a year without stopping to be thankful for the miraculous beginning of my faith!

So Laura thanks for the great pick! and I need to order our next book! I love this little group of people called the Sophistareaders! I couldn’t ask for a better bunch!

What about you? Could you ever skip Christmas?

Lunch Date Table

2011-01-04T11:08:00.001-08:00

While eating lunch ALONE today i had an idea. I was sitting in there without my "eat alone materials" ~ a book, magazine, or something to look interested in. I looked around and saw a few single person occupied tables. Then i remembered my trip to New York. While I was there i went to a little jazz club to see one of my favorite singers ( Melonie Daniels... she wasn't there though!). Anyways seating was sparse so they sat me down at a table with a few other people at it. I was a little taken back because I had never been seated with strangers before. But it turned out really nice. I met a young couple from Europe ( I can't remember which country), theey were really nice. It was a good experience fetting to know perfect strangers just because. I looked around there and saw that most of the tables were mixed together like that, with some very opposite types of people. I would've liked to hear some of those conversations!

So i say all of that to say this. I propose that restaurants have a communal table. When i walk in and say table for one they can ask if I'd like to sit there. I think it would be a great way to meet someone new.. and maybe gain a little wisdom from a perfect stranger. I know.. they have a bar for that, but nothing incites conversation like sitting across from someone. You just have to talk!.

So that's my idea for today! What do you think?

CREATE ~ Here We Go!

2011-01-03T21:05:00.001-08:00

Hey Y’all! I’m starting this New Year out with some creativity!! I had today off ~ tomorrow is the big day back to BOTH jobs. I’m excited about going back to work…. it’s just been so long!! ha! Back to the point! Today I decided to see what I can do in the card making department. Here is what I came up with

A simple leaf card with a blank inside that I stamped myself. I even did the envelop too for a little coordination! ( I need to get a camera ~ my phone gets the job done but it doesn’t capture the color very well!)

My best friend saw that one and asked me to make one to accompany some baby gifts. A friend of ours had a little baby boy. Here’s what I came up with

I was excited about how it came out!

So I’m putting my creative juices to good this year. What about you? What have you decided to CREATE?

Better Me Epiphany ~ A New Year

2011-01-02T22:55:00.001-08:00

We are officially in a new year! Everyone has been asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are for the upcoming year. I responded with a blank stare and a pregnant pause…… I don’t know that I have any right now. This may sound crazy because this year is the perfect time to start over ~ It is chock full of 1’s. 1/01/11 (Doesn’t this look like a setup for everything to start over?). If you have ever read any of my old posts then you know I fiercely believe in starting over every day, hour, moment, second. We don’t need a calendar full of 1’s or even a sunrise. We have the ability to stop whatever we are doing in that moment and change. I love that idea because it means that we can literally have 86,400 chances to start over every day (that's the number of seconds in a day).

So I say all of that not to make lightly of the New Year or the New Years resolutions ~ they are grand and wonderful and the most consistent reminder of a new start ~ but I say this all to point out that we don’t have to limit ourselves to that. So many times we resolve to do something in the new year… we mess up.. and then we quit. I put its picture of a spider web up because it is a great reminder to me about new beginnings. Every day that spider laboriously builds it’s web, and every night the dew drops, the wind blows, or a by stander haphazardly walks through it, and it is destroyed. Even the purpose of the web destroys it when a bug gets stuck in it and flails around it messes it up. The spider is continually rebuilding, redoing, and restarting. It takes a lot of dedication, but for the spider it is a matter of survival. So I challenge you and I challenge myself to do the same thing as that spider. persevere like our very survival depends on it ~ because it does. When we mess up, have a setback, walk completely in the opposite direction of where we said we would head, we will not give up. We will simply spin a new web with each new moment and build our lives and our very being into exactly what we set out to do.

Better Me Epiphany: I will remember the web. Destruction is sometimes evident, but it is never the final outcome. My life is what I make it and the chances to change course are only limited by the seconds I have in my lifetime.

CREATE ~ New Horizons!

2010-12-31T16:29:00.001-08:00

So I have had tons of time over this break and have been feeling very crafty! I think it’s fun to make something of your own. So here is what I made!

Last night I made a very small mock journal… even bound it myself! Here is how it turned out

Here’s another shot

I wish my phone camera captured to color a little better!

My Nephew saw it and wanted one of his own so I made him a sketchbook. Here is how it turned out

So I’m kind of excited about it! It has me wanting to perfect this a little better and maybe open up an ETSY shop!

I would love to hear what Y’all think!

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ Results

2010-12-29T21:22:00.001-08:00

Hey Y’all! Well the Tell Me What You See Challenge was a huge success!! There were quite a few responses (Which always makes me excited!!). the picture above was our muse and people wrote something about what they thought was happening here, how it made them feel, or just what they thought about it… basically they said what they saw!! …. I know that’s the whole point right?!

Well here goes!!

My friend, Ansley, saw this “I see a fun couple who love each other a lot. I wonder if the old pictures around them, are old family members, that maybe they wish were part of their wedding??? Just an idea.”

My Momma (I bugged her enough to participate!) saw this “That dratted seam! Why couldn't the wallpaper have extended just a little further into her cloistered civilization? The seam in the wall, as well as the racial barriers had separated them for so long. With longing, out of the corner of her eye she had gazed at his portrait... wondered what ancient secrets his luxurious and exciting ancestry held compared to the stogy, uptight restrictions of hers. What would it be like to transcend barriers so long imposed by tradition? Her - white, racist, upscale, snobbish history mingled with his, oriental, accepting, working class background. Would the result be magic? She would do it! She would reach across the seamed wallpaper barrier and take matters into her own hands. She instantly knew it was all worth it when the silk of his tie matched the silk of his lips. What would their new "family" portrait portray?”

I’m also a part of a online writing and critiquing community called Scribophile. It is a website where writers submit their work to be critiqued and in turn critique other’s work. Here are what some of my fellow scriblers saw.

Gary Weblund saw this

Picture scene, ten minute poetry, by Gary Wedlund:

I said, “You’re pretty as a picture.”

“But will you love me.

“When I’m angry?

“And I’m fat.

“And I haven’t had a bath.

“When a diaper’s needing changed.

“Or your namesake’s such a brat?

“Carpooling in a van.

“in-laws cook you spam.

“Will you love me when,

“I’m getting old and tired.

“Wrinkles cross my face.

“Hot flashes and I’m grey.

“Will you love me after,

“Two months back to back.

“To my navel hang my rack.

“You bent on a cane.

“Bedridden and half insane.

“ …

“Then you’re dead.

“No one at your funeral,

“Because of what you did.

“My hand the last to close your lid?”

“Ahum. Thanks for sharing a drink. Hat please.”

Adeline Gail saw this

The lights turned off. Finally. The occupants of the house had gone to sleep. We were free from scrutiny.

Pressing against the surface of the photo, my fingers slipped through becoming three-dimensional. Poised all day in the same position, it felt good to move. No longer forced to keep a blank expression, to sit up straight, to be a perfect portrait. And now I could see him.

I leaned forward from the wall and reached out to the next gilded frame. There he was. A smile grew across my face. Grabbing his tie, I pulled him from his encasement.

He laughed and removed his hat. “Someone’s impatient tonight.”

I slid to the edge of the framework, pulling him to the corner of his. Our lips pressed together.

“I missed you,” I whispered, then kissed him again.

Immortalized in our portraits, our love would last forever.

Hans Von Lieven saw this

The photo reminds me of the closing sketches of Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. There they had windows in a wall with people sticking their heads out and saying stupid things. It was a regular finale in all the shows.

Yay For Scribohile!!

My Friend Jody saw this “I think that these two individuals had so much passion for one another that even the stillness of a picture could not contain them”

Chavice saw this “A picture of love!”

Lastly here is what I saw

All of us seem to be born into or adapt to certain roles in life. We are listeners, parents, spouses, friends… the list is endless. It is very easy to get stuck in that role and miss out on what is so close to us because we are stuck in our individual frames. Sometimes you have to magically reach out of what seems possible and grab the impossible… because it’s always worth it.

“Here I am stuck. I have always been here… smiling and looking you in the eyes when you walk by on the way out the door. I think that i remind you of someone… but I don’t know who. I have been content here for so long, but something told me to look over. that’s when I saw him. Intrigue, it was a new feeling for me… but a great one. I had to see him more, touch him, but as I already said here I am stuck. It seems impossible. Nothing worth having doesn’t take work though. So I am going to do something that no one expects, no one even thinks is possible. I am going to reach out of this frame, out of everything that I am supposed to be and do something different. Let’s see what happens.”

So this was everyone!!! Thanks for everyone who participated!! Thanks for letting me see the world through your eyes.

2010-12-28T00:38:00.000-08:00

I'm trying something new with this bloglovin connect thing!!

Follow my blog with bloglovin

CREATE ~ Holiday Pigs

2010-12-26T12:54:00.001-08:00

Merry Day after Christmas Y’all! I had an awesome Christmas with the family!! We opened gifts, had Christmas Breakfast ( at lunchtime!), played cards ( a family tradition), and had Christmas dinner. It was really great.

Me and Melia decided to make pigs in a blanket last night as a little snack… but we decided to add a little twist to it. We call them Holiday Pigs!!

We started out by Melia making her “A little bit of this, a little bit of that barbeque sauce”. She took a little bit ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, chili powder, liquid smoke, vinegar, and Worcestershire sauce. I don’t know the measurements to tell you… because she doesn’t either. You just have to work at it til it gets just right! then you just add the little smokies in with the sauce and let them cook and soak up that good sauce for a while. Here’s a pic! ( I got Melia a camera for Christmas and we put it to good use last night!! It caught the steam in the picture.. I thought that was really cool)

Then we took a can of crescent rolls and ripped the crescent rolls into pieces. We pinched just a little bit of crushed pineapple onto each one

Then you add the smokies on and roll them up

Add them all together and bake them in the oven by the crescent roll directions.

And the finished product is a great and scrumptious twist on the classic pigs in a blanket!! the sweetness of the pineapple with the sauce and the smokie and the crescent.. MMMMM! I want to go make some more!!

So this was my little moment to CREATE something new. What about you? Any new recipe’s you’ve made?

P.S. Remember the Tell Me What You See Challenge! You can check it out Here

Better Me Epipany ~ Connections

2010-12-22T21:33:00.000-08:00

The other day (before my surgery) I got to eat lunch with one of my favorite people. My best friend since the 7th grade. Our friendship has really held on for wuite some time. We had not seen each other in months and had only talked sparsely during that time. When I saw her we lit up and sat and enjoyed each other like no time had passed. I loved it! and it felt really good!
Since my surgery I have had some great time to sit, relax, and think. I started to think about this giant gap in time that it had been since I had seen my friend. Then it hit me.... It's been a lot of time since I have seen a lot of my friends. I haven't returned phone calls, made the effort to see them, I've been unavailable. I work tons and have been telling myself that I have just been too busy to do it all. This is true to an extent.... but for people that you love and care about you can't get caught up in the convenient. It is very easy and convenient to shun everyone aside and think only of what is good for you at the moment... but one day you wake up and you are the only one thinking about what it best for you (when you used to have a whole troup!). So I got that little bang that lets me know ~ YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
We are very privileged to live this life and live it with each other. I have said many times that we were all put here TOGETHER for a reason... but somehow I forgot about that. Our connections with others help us to live better. see differently, love better, and get to know ourselves in entirely different ways. So I made a decision and a promise to myself. I won't let myself become an island for the sake of being busy. Real reltionships and friendships take more effort than a hello in the hall or a "How have you been?" through text. I need to put forth the effort... otherwise I miss out on a giant part of living.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Connections fulfill so many purposes in our lives. We need a shoulder to cry on, and joke to laugh at, and an all knowing smile. anything taken for granted can easily be taken away ~ I won't let that happen. I will remember that life is not all about me and what's easiest for me. I will take the time and show the ones I love... that I love!

P.S. Don't forget about the Tell Me What You See Challenge !! Only few days left to be a part!

Tell Me What You See Challenge

2010-12-19T22:55:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

Alright Y’all the Tell Me What You See Challenge has been on hiatus for far too long! The picture above is from a photographer featured in this month’s O Magazine. I saw the picture and it said something to me… and I want to see what it says to you.

The “Tell Me What You See Challenge” is a way for all of us to teach each other something from a different point of view. I am fascinated by the idea that we all experience the same events differently because we all have a unique way of looking at life. This challenge is our way of sharing that view and maybe opening up the eyes of those around us to a whole new way of looking at things.

So here goes!!! The picture above is the topic. We all have one week to write down what we see. It can be a first impression, a poem, a feeling, a story that tells what’s happening here. There are no rules because there are no limits to how we see things. You can post your responses in the comments section or you can email them to me at mark.deer02@gmail.com. A week from now I will post all the responses in a post and we all can go through and see the world through different eyes… even just for a few minutes.

So get those creative juices flowing and share what you see! It matters to me!

To get an idea of how the challenge works here are some of the previous ones!

August ~ Tell Me What You See Challenge

July ~ Tell Me What You See Challenge

See You Soon!

Influences Revisited

2010-12-19T15:07:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

So I came across this picture on Flickr and it made me think about the power that we give the people around us. This picture is cute and funny but it really spoke to me. How many times have each of us settled on what other people say about us? It's so easy to let the influences we have dictate who we are and who we are to become. I wrote a whole post about it before... that you can view Here This picture was a great reminder about our responsibility to only allow our lives to be infiltrated by those we desire and allow.

CREATE ~ Christmas

2010-12-18T19:45:00.001-08:00

Hey Y’all! I am spending the day recovering and relaxing and decided to do my Christmas wrapping. I was traversing through blogger world a while back and saw gifts wrapped in simple packages. I wanted to do that on my own so here goes. I bought a few rolls of Brown shipping paper from K-mart ($2.75 a roll) then i got out a stamp that I bought recently.

I got some red ink and stamped it on the brown paper

I like the design!! This is the one my Mom did

We ended up using raffia instead of ribbon

So we tied bows in the packages and I used those tags from my wish list… remember? They came from my friend StampGirl

This is what the finished ones looked like!

It was a little more work than just wrapping presents… but not many people can say that they made their own wrapping paper!! the options are limitless… but I was obviously a little confined today!

Everyday is an opportunity to get out creative juices flowing. We create our lives with each moment and we I think it’s important to fill our lives up with ourselves as well. This is my latest creation…what’s yours?

Surgery was a success!!

2010-12-17T16:24:00.001-08:00

I was a little picture happy this morning…. although looking really rough!

Another photo-op before surgery!

This is me and my Momma! Isn’t she Beautiful! She and my Dad got up here last night to be here for my surgery and take good care of me while I recover. She has been really good today making sure I eat and drink!

Anyways thanks for all your prayers! Surgery was a success. I can talk! I still have my uvula!! and I am minus some sickness causing Tonsils! See Y’all soon!

Getting a nice little break!

2010-12-16T20:26:00.001-08:00

Well Y’all… tomorrow is the big day!! My tonsils are coming out!! and as a result I will be getting a wonderful 2 week vacation with the family! It’s sad that the only way you can a whole two weeks off from both jobs is to have to go get something cut out of you! Ha! Anyways, I will be spending these next two weeks relaxing, reading, blogging, and enjoying my wonderful family!! I am uber excited about it!! Please be praying for me.

So far I am not too nervous. I am just excited to feel better and have a break. Everyone else seems to be a little more paranoid than me. I have been asked ~ Are you worried that you might not wake up? ( no.. that hadn’t crossed my mind.. thanks for bringing it up), I would just be scared that I wouldn’t stop bleeding. What would you do then? ( I’m not sure.. call the doctor), and lastly You know that take your uvula out too right? Look I don’t have one ( this I admit made me nervous…. although I no idea why I have a uvula… I kind of don’t want to lose it!! It’s nice knowing it’s back there.. dangling and serving it’s uvulic purpose!). With all that said thanks for your concern but this is going to go great! No complications! Quick recovery! ~ I am speaking that!!

That's all I have at the moment. I am going to go get rested up for tomorrow.

P.S. This is my first blog from my new computer!! Look my picture has rounded edges!!! Fancy huh?

Book Review ~ Three Little Words

2010-12-07T10:53:00.001-08:00

I just finished Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Coulter. It was the pick for a book club I'm in called “The Sophistareaders". The book is memoir of Ashley's early life in foster care. As a social worker this book was especially interesting and touching. We follow Ashley from her entrance into foster care to her exit. It is a very harrowing story. Her time in foster care was during a period where Florida's foster care system was at its worst and her story helped to change that system. Ashley came from a family with significant issues and put into a system with just as many significant issues. She was put in the charge of many careless social workers and countless placements. She was literally forgotten and persevered through it all.

Here's what I got from the story.

Ashley was shifted from place to place and developed some pretty severe attachment issues. She was moved from place to place and no one stopped and asked her how she felt about all of it. She lost her voice. Many times all of us go through periods where the circumstances in our lives make us feel like we have lost all control of it. We don't always have the ability to control these circumstances. It is a place that is infused with hopelessness, and if nothing changes it is easy for us to stay there. Ashley held onto one hope, to return to her mother, and was constantly disappointed. Her mother never could seem to get things together so that she could be the mother that Ashley needed. Ashley was moved around a lot ~ lived with pedophiles, overcrowded homes, and even abusive homes. She really did become hopeless. She lost hope that she would ever find a place to call home. She knew that however great a place seemed it had an expiration date.

After many years of going through this “return to sender" cycle, she was finally appointed a guardian as litem. They are there to look after the child's best interest. They are the voice of the child in foster care. This one person came along and fought for Ashley. She listened to her, and she made a change in Ashley's life. This one person got her out of her abusive placement and advocated for her until she found a permanent home. This is what stuck with me ~ the power that one individual can have to affect change in the lives around them. We all have that capability and responsibility. We don't have to have the enormous responsibility of being a child's voice in a broken system to affect change. We can do it every second of every day. It is a smile, and shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen. But it takes us stopping, forgetting about our busy day and self importance, and taking the time to care. I think that Ashley's life could have been so much less tumultuous if someone stopped and cared sooner.

When Ashley got this guardian who was her voice she eventually found her own. She let down all of the defense mechanisms that she developed to deal with living in the system and allowed an adoptive family to love her and herself to love them back. She made it through it all. She spoke out about the protective system that damaged her most and she helped change it.

The book is an amazing story about an amazing life. After looking at her life I know that in my hopeless situations I won't give up. The start almost never looks like the finish.

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will care about the lives around me. I will make a change for others by first making changes for myself. My future is not dictated by my current situations.

Better Me Epiphany ~ What I Say Matters

2010-12-01T22:04:00.001-08:00

So remember my conundrum last week? I think I found the answer. After i posted that, my friend Laura posted a comment that said that our beliefs are the core of who we are and that if we don't really believe them then who are we really. This of course blew right past me until later that night when me and my sister were talking. My sister basically said that we should have faith in our beliefs.... pretty simple right? Well it hit me hard and I realized that I was walking around saying that I believe in things but not believing in the power of them. So as Laura basically said "whats the point".

You know I named this blog "What I Say Matters" very intentionally. I believe in the power of our words. The words that we say shape the world around us. But somewhere I think that got lost. I was stuck in the spot where I was believing that people's minds are made up... so why should I try to convince them otherwise. I was doubting the power of my beliefs. My sister told me that it's not our jobs to convince anyone of anything. We simply have to share it, and the power that lies in that truth, my truth, and your truth will do the work. This applies in so many circumstances ~ I put my beliefs out there everyday. I need to not make it about my power to convince and leave it to the truth's power to convince. That truth can be so many things~ changing influences, positive outlook, reflection, and of course my faith... all those things.

So i can share what I believe to be true (as I have on this blog) without disrespecting anyone else's beliefs. They don't have to agree and it's not my job to make them agree.

Better Me Epiphany ~ The moment I stop believing in the power of my beliefs is the moment that they are not real to me. I am not the convincer, truth is. I will express it because I believe it. What I Say Matters because it is my truth.

Aids Awareness Day

2010-11-30T09:00:00.001-08:00

Africa Poster 2., originally uploaded by alyssaduhe.

Hey Y’all! So tomorrow is December 1st, 2010 ~ World Aids Day. It is a day set aside every year to raise awareness of AIDS and it’s preventability. I wear something red or a red ribbon every year on December 1st and practically everyday of December because it is a cause that is important to me. I do not know anyone with the disease or who died form the disease, but I know plenty of people and any one of us could be one of them. Aids is a disease with no cure that is spreading everyday because of carelessness and lack of education. Many people contract the disease because of unsafe sex practices. One mistake and the rest of their life has been changed. Others contract the disease the same way but because they are uneducated about it. They think that it’s a gay disease or a black disease or a young person disease, and that they cannot get it because they are not a part of that population. The fact is that AIDS is an EVERYONE disease. The good news is that it is preventable and it is not a death sentence.

There is a notion that if one does in fact contract the disease that their lives are over. That is not the case these days. Medicine has vastly improved and many people lead normal lives with the disease while they take their medicine. The important thing is to know your status so that you can move forward the best way possible. If you are positive go to the doctor and start your medicine. Ignoring the issue does not make it go away. If you are not positive then stay that way. Don’t practice unsafe sex, don’t have multiple partners. Get tested regularly. Make good decisions.

I organized a World Aids Day event at college my senior year. It was a good experience but also a learning experience. The entire time I was setting things up I was hitting walls. The posters I made were not acceptable ~ but later approved. The brochures I made were not acceptable ~ but after a long conversation with the dean of students approved. The event is set up was deemed a waste of money ~ later approved. Many people that were close to me refused to wear the red ribbon. I was confused and realized that they were still associating AIDS with gay, black, and young. It was sad that a good cause caught so much flack ~ but the good thing is that the day went off as a success. So tomorrow let’s make it another success. Wear the ribbon and when someone asks you why you are wearing it tell them why. When people are aware of an issue they can do something about it, otherwise the cycle keeps going and there is no hope. I refuse to let that happen.
So this is my cause! What’s yours?

P.S. I found this interesting
http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-04-01/aids-next-big-thing-gilead-pill-to-prevent-spread-update1-.html

CREATE ~ Thanksgiving

2010-11-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

So Thanksgiving was Awesome! My parents and sister came and we had a nice relaxing holiday just enjoying each other… and some good food!

I get very excited about these big holiday get-to-gethers….. especially when I get to host. It makes me want everything to be pretty. So I got a little crafty and came up with this for my table.

I thought it turned out really great!!

The runner was some upholstery fabric that I got at a thrift store 2 years ago. I loved it and finally found a good use for it!!

The napkins are hand stamped. When I went to New York, I found some hand carved Indian stamps that I have been itching to use.

I just used some fabric ink and stamped the edges of some napkins I got from TJ Maxx

Then I ironed over them, I read somewhere that helps to seal the ink so your dinner guests don’t end up with orange ink smeared all over their faces.

The end result were these!!

The centerpiece was a candle globe from my mantelpiece with corn husk garland around it.
I just bought some corn husks for tamales from the Hispanic section at wal-mart

I riped a husk into smaller strips and then folded them over like this

Then I found some wire Christmas ornament hangers and poked one through the pieces

Then you wrap the sides around to hold it in place

Now you are supposed to make a million of these and attach them to twine and hang them but me and my sis just decided to make a centerpiece out of them. So we got out the handy hot glue gun and went to work. It was simple but really pretty I thought.

Then I just brought out my everyday dishes, place cards I made for last thanksgiving, me and Melia added some finishing touches and voila!!

So this was my Thanksgiving creation!!! What have you created lately?

The Give Thanks Y'all Tree!

2010-11-24T15:44:00.001-08:00

At work we decided to start doing something for all of our big holidays. For Thanksgiving we came up with this neat little tree and everyday all of us in our unit take a leaf and write something that we are thankful for each day. I think it was a good way for each of us to stop and reflect on the blessings that we have each day. What are you thankful for?

Respect Vs. Shame ~ Reflect

2010-11-22T21:03:00.001-08:00

my best friend and i were talking tonight over Applebees (spinach dip! Gotta love it!) He was catching me up on what has been going on at church ~ I haven't been in a while becuase I work every sunday. Apparently my pastor has been talking about traditionalism in our faith and the importance of being spirit led rather than tradition led. My pastor went on to say that when traditional people attack your worship you have the right tell them the truth very adamantly about what the Bible says about how you worship. This struck a cord with me and started a whole different discussion.

Basically that did not sit well with me. I grew up in a very radical and liberal church. We had very spirit led worship and did not play by many of the rules of most churches. I firmly believe in that style of worship. What came along with that though, was a sense of haughtiness. I remember actually feeling superior to other believers because we had tapped into the power of God and other denominations with things like church programs and church membership didn't. After i went to college i was exposed to a lot more and i realized that although other people had what felt like a very rigid way of worshiping to me it was worship to them. So thats when I decided that there isn't always one right way to have church and worship God. I never wanted to go back to that place of superiority, and internalized the mantra that if it works for you then good.

I adopted this in many different aspects of my life and I think that it has helped to be more openminded when speaking to people of other faiths and ways of thinking. My friend said that we should be able to share what we believe to help others understand what we believe and maybe change their minds about some things. When he said that all i could think was... is what I have to say really going to change what they believe. I immediately felt a pang and realized that by excepting the mantra of "if it works for you then good" that I was really giving up on sharing what I believe. I am talking spiritually but this applies on all levels. So I'm stuck. I always say who am I to say that I know better, that my way of doing is better than theirs. I firmly believe that we all have to do whats in our hearts to do and we all do it in different ways. If we did it all the same way wouldn't that be a boring world. But where is the middleground. Do i express my beliefs without expecting results? If so why express them at all? Or do I tell it all like I have all the answers? I know there is somewhere in between.... What do you do?

I think it is very easy for our respect for others beliefs to become a sort of shame for our own. So I'm at a stand-still ~ help me out Yall!

P.S. the picture i my confused look!

Local Love ~ Great Shops Close By

2010-11-22T12:01:00.000-08:00

The Shopping Season is vastly approaching... sorry I meant Christmas Season!! I officially started my shopping today for my sister-in-law! I can't release what i got her... but she's gonna love it! It's really easy to get caught up in the THINGS of Christmas so I'm not gonna write a post about all the possessions I have acquired ot hand out to everyone. I will say that there is nothing like giving someone something that you know that they will love. It's a good feeling!
I love to get one of a kind things for myself and for people. I usually do the thriftshop route for myself ~ there are lots of little treasures! But the other great option is Etsy! I stumbled upon this great website while surfing around the wonderful world of blogger one day!! There is a great option for you to shop local ~ so you can support the people and economy of your neck of the woods! I love it!

So i thought I would highlight some of the people around me! Here are some things I thought were neat!

First is my new friend Stampgirl45 ~ She has these awesome 50's Christmas gift Tags up for sale! I REALLY want them to attach to my gifts this year!

Next is Muchloveilly . She has a shop full of cute little posey headbands and rings! I saw them and wanted to buy my sister one instantly. What do you think?

I also saw these wonderful handmade fabric baskets offered up by TheCatsPaw ! Here is what one looks like

Batwa has an array of these cute clutches that are perfect gifts for the tweens in your life

And don't these look delicious!!! well they are for your DOGS!! don't forget them this Christmas. Wonderful gourmet treats for Fido and friends over at Muddypuppys

I am so proud to have such awesome people in my locale creating such wonderful things! Now it's your turn to check out what's close by to you look Here

Book Club Update ~ The Sophistareaders

2010-11-21T22:28:00.001-08:00

So our book club found a name! The name I offered up was "The all inclusive not exclusive book club for social workers and no one else" ..... apparently that was a little long winded so we settled in on "The Sophistareaders". We are sophisticated and we read!

I am a little past halway though our first selection "Three Little Words". It is a memoir of child in foster care and chronicles her journey through. I will post a full review later but for now I'll tell you what I have got so far. The book is an easy read but is definitely worth reading. It does a good job of showing what foster care can be like through the eyes of a child. Parts of it have been pretty harrowing. The majority of the social workers throughout this child's story have been careless and selfish. It really struck a cord with me because that is what I do everyday (social work with families ~ hopefully not be careless and selfish!). I know how easy it is to make my job about me and not about the families that I serve. I think we all do that in different ways.... we are stuck in our bodies and in our worlds and we often lose sight of the others in it. It takes diligence on our parts to listen to our friends, care for our loved ones, and offer a smile to strangers on the street. I think it's natural for our focus to hone in on ourselves, but we have to change that. We have to realize that we are here together for each other, and lay down the selfish ritual of assessing each situation as how it may affect us. Our decisions everyday affect those around us in every way ~ think of traffic! Slow cars, fast cars, bad drivers ~ all are on the road together and what one car does determines how the others that follow will go. It's the same with ua in our daily walks, my daily actions are steering the course of the people arounds me's day. I could just be talking to me! ~ but i hope if it applies you will take it to heart too. So I will keep reading and Y'all get ready for the full review... very soon!

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will factor others into the equation and take all the focus off of myself. I will not squander the responsibility of this shared experience of life.

The end of phone blogging!

2010-11-19T23:00:00.001-08:00

Ok so I think I am finally going to do it.... I'm going to buy a computer! I have been doing the majority of my blogging from my phone and i think itKs about time I buckle down and do this the right way! I went last week and bought an Ipad. I was under the impression that it was a touchscreen computer... but it was not. It was just like using my phone but more difficult. So i took it back. Target has the best return policy! So i think that very soon i will be the proud owner of some sort of PC! Here is hoping that the next time you hear from me it will be in a pleasant way and not with my fingers tired from all these tiny buttons!

Better Me Epiphany ~ All of Me

2010-11-17T20:31:00.001-08:00

So me and my bestie were having a conversation about relationships. He said that it's good that you can offer someone something that no one else has been able to. I replied by saying everyone wants parts but not the whole thing. When i said that it really stuck with me and made me think about relationships. We all have roles in relationships (friendships). Some of us are the talkers, or listeners, or entertainment, and so on. Whenever that friend calls you listen,, the other you discuss the deepest of subjects, and the other you make laugh. I don't think there is anything wrong with that unless that becomes the only part of us that gets light with that person. When that happens you are always stuck listening or always saying something silly. I say thats a problem becuase no one is just one thing. We all have different facets to ourselves. Sometimes we have something to get off our chest and sometimes we have a valid point that we want to discuss. The easy answer is to go to the friend or loved one that fits into the role that best suits your needs. That may work, but it only perpetuates the cycle. I believe that a good relationship is one that celebrates all your parts and not just the part that conveniently fills someone's need. By celebrate I mean that we have the oppurtinity to be all of who we are. No one can be all things to all people. When you try you are pulled into a million different places, and have to change clothes for each new role that you are to fit into. That is not healthy and it is not authentic. Every relationship that we have is not going to be that deep though. I don't think it's possible to be that invested in so many people, but the relationships that are real ~ The ones that are filled with people that we love and spend the meat of our lives in should be. I am a talker, a listener, a laugher, a silly joke teller, a thinker and so much more. Anyone who doesn't want all of that from me doesn't deserve any of me. It is selfish to fill our lives with people who are around for convenient purposes and nothing else.

Better Me Epiphany ~ i will be all of who I am everyday that I'm living and expect nothing less from those who take all of me in

Better Me Epiphany ~ Own It

2010-11-16T13:49:00.001-08:00

People can be our greatest blessing and our greatest curse. We spend everyday with each other and no one is an island. Sometimes we are around the greatest and most uplifting people and sometimes we are are surrounded by mountains of negativity. I believe we should always choose our influences and make every effort to surround ourselves with the best people, but sometimes that just isn't possible. We are all forced to be exposed to people that sometimes we normally wouldn't be around. They could be coworkers, church members, friends' friends.... the list goes on. These situations can be intimidating and draining and imminent. So what do we do?

I believe that our best way to combat this and enjoy a life cast with characters that we didn't pick is to own every situation that we are in. That means knowing who you are and not letting anyone or anything convince you otherwise. It doesn't require you to be abrasive or dominant. You just have to be sure. So the next time you are in a situation and there is someone there pumping you with negativity, belittling you, or being just plain rude ~ you have to make a concious decision. You have to say within yourself "I Know who I am and nothing will convince me otherwise".

So.... so what if they don't respect you

YOU RESPECT YOURSELF

So what if they tell you that you're unlovable

YOU LOVE YOURSELF

So what if they say the sun is sour and the earth is nothing but mud

YOU SEE A BLESSING IN WARMTH AND WALK ON SOLID GROUND

With this being said we don't have an excuse for the things said or done to us. Those things don't matter because we know better

Better Me Epiphany: No one else has the power to dictate who I am or how I feel. My indentity lies in what I choose.

Great Day!

2010-11-11T16:54:00.001-08:00

Today I was off from job #1 and job #2! It was quite a momentous occasion..... because that never happens! Me and a gaggle of my coworkers decided to trek up to Charlotte and visit it's most important landmark..... IKEA! My sister came down from Winston-Salem and we spent hours walking through. It was so much fun! We got free lunch! Apparently if you buy lunch there and spend $100 in the store they deduct your lunch bill from your total. So I got a throw blanket, a rug, a giant mirror for my bathroom, napkin rings, and huge desk/craft table for $100. 07. Too excited about that!

P.S. the pic is me and my Melia(my sister) trying on silly hats in IKEA! Awesome trip! Thanks for the ride Jody!

Reflect Giveaway ~ Results

2010-11-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

We have a winner!! well... Winners!!! I decided since there were only three people to respond that all three win!!! I am so excited about all of us taking the oppurtunity to reflect on our lives more often and get to know some loved ones a little better!

I know I had a link to some other notecards as the prize.... but I came across a local person who had some great designs... so I decided to order from her! You can check out her awesome work Here .

So the grand winners are ~

Jody Greene ~ She gets this wonderful set

Brandi Gray ~ got this set of birds on branches

And ~

Laura Rada ~ Got these cute little posies!

Congrats Yall!! I so glad you participated!! I hope you enjoy these awesome one of a kind handmade notecards. Now get to enjoying your life and telling everyone you know all about it!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Reflect and Giveaway!

2010-10-28T13:56:00.001-07:00

modern letter received!, originally uploaded by lesterhead.

I have been super busy lately! You have probably noticed from the sparseness of my blog. I got a second job! 40 hours as a social worker and 30 something as a server. It really has been great though because it has allowed me do some things that I couldn't have done without the extra money. The main thing that I had been putting off was traveling (even close by). Since I started the second job I've been on 2 trips! One trip to NYC and the other to Asheville NC. Never the less, I am very busy. I think we all find ourselves finding ways to fill up our days with things to do. We work, eat, grocery shop, read, watch tv, and so on and so on. I've noticed with all this busyness that sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the living part of life. We end our day and are so exhausted that we go straight to sleep, scrape ourselves out of bed and do it all over again. That is why I think reflection is such an important part to living our best life. Everyday we should stop and take something in. Our lives are teaching us something everyday but we have to stop and take notice of it. I would encourage everyone to find a few moments each day (when you are coherent and not trying out the newest sleep aid sedative) and reflect on your day. What did you do, what did you learn, what did you love, and where will you go from here.

So I have come up with a challenge! A letter writing challenge! Other than for work I have not written a letter to anyone in years, but I must say I think that the act of writing is important. I believe that writing is one of best tools of communication because it (usually) requires reflection and thought. Good writing conveys a message in a way that the reader feels the message rather than just hearing it. What better way to reflect on our lives then to sit down and tell someone else about it. So I propose for each of us to find someone that we don't talk to regularly and start a pen pal relationship with them. Each week or month take the time to fill someone in on your life and I promise you might find yourself filling your own self in on some things. We could just write in our journals (it’s the same concept) but I know I never follow through with it... so I decided to find someone to hold me accountable. ~ I just have to find out who it will be...any takers? ~

I hope you will do the challenge with me! I will be doing a giveaway for stationary. Leave a comment with who your reflection pal will be (by next Friday!) and I will do a random drawing so you can get some stationary starters! Here is what the stationary will be! I think it's awesome!!

Better Me Epiphany ~ I will take the time to stop and reflect on my great life so that I can savor every last drop of this grand experience that we call living.

A New Book Club!

2010-10-27T09:27:00.001-07:00

b is for : books - my path to personal freedom, originally uploaded by samie.shake.

I am excited!! A group of friends and I are starting a book club!! We will all have a chance to offer up a selection and then have a month to 6 weeks to read it. I know six weeks is a long time! But the group is full of Mommies(the fullest of the full time jobs!) and the two jobbers! So…… that is understandable! The only thing we have left to do is find a name. What would the book club with a bunch of social workers be called? Any ideas?

Of course this means that I will be reviewing at least one book every six weeks for y’all!!! Maybe we bloggers could have an online book club! What do Y'all think?

Book Review ~ Same Kind of Different as Me

2010-10-25T10:54:00.001-07:00

Here we go! I recently finished reading Same Kind of Different as Me written by Ron Hall, Denver Moore, and Lyn Vincent. It is a true life story about two very different people, one a homeless man and the other an international art dealer.

First off let me say that this is a Christian book. I normally don't read or haven't read Christian literature. I was very pleasently suprised by this book. The story is told through two voices Ron Hall and Denver Moore. We follow them through their lives and see how they end up intersecting. It was really a touching story and it made me think about a few things.

One of the best parts of the book are the little bits of simple wisdom that Denver, the homeless man, sort of just offers up casually. Denver and Ron were talking about the cars that Ron owns and Denver was amazed at how many he had. He asked Ron, "Are you sure you own them, or does they own you?". This gives a small glimpse into who Denver is. He has a different perspective on life and the things in it. Our society places a lot of importance on things, so it comes as no suprise that someone who doesn't quite fit into society at large would have a totally different view. I think we could all learn something by trying to get into his frame of mind.

Another thing that Dener said was when he was talking about a good friend at a local mission. Her name was Miss Debbie. He said that she never asked questions like why are you homeless? Where you been? How many times have you been in jail? She just loved him, no strings attached. This got to me and made me think if I do that with anyone. Loving with no strings attached is a hard thing to do for some reason. So many times churches want perfect parishioners and if they are not up to par then they are unwanted. it's the same with us, we love our friends until we find out something negative about them. I don't think it should be like that. We want others to love us inspite of our flaws so shouldn't we be willing to offer the same?

Lastly (though not the last bit of the book that we can learn from) was the quote, "I know when somebody you love is gone, that's the last time you feel like thanking God. But sometimes we has to be thankful for the things that hurt us." When I read that all I could think was WOW. This is coming from a homeless man, a former sharecropper, someone who has experienced tragedy after trajedy. But he wasn't angry, he wasn't bitter. He knew that through it all life was teaching. It's so easy to get stuck in the moment and stuck in the pain, but Denver (and we should too) looked outside of it. He probably didn't understand the why of it all but he did see that it was teaching or touching someone. I call these moments of pain and hardship growing pains. We all get them and they ALWAYS hurt, but they aren't the end of it all. We have to look outside of it and learn or see where the ones around us are learning from us.

Needless to say it was a wonderful, thought provoking, and inspiring book. It is a unique look at the mindset of our nations homeless and a wonderful history of how each of has the power to affect each other for the better.

P.S. Disclaimer Booksneeze has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for the purpose of review.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Motives vs. Action

2010-10-14T08:49:00.001-07:00

It's Wednesday and I've got bokeh...and the chipmunk, originally uploaded by Jaime973 (playing catch up).

We all have moments in our lives where something just clicks. Whether it’s when we are walking down the road, talking to a friend, listening to a song, or reading a book and all of the sudden our mind opens up and we see something differently than we ever have before. I call these moments Better Me Epiphany’s and I wanted to share a major one with y’all.
Growing up I lived in a very religious household. I grew up in the church going every Wednesday and Sunday. The school I went to was a part of my church and basically everyone I knew or came into contact with was a Christian. I am grateful for my upbringing because it made who I am today. The thing I remember most about my high school days and church was that I spent a lot of time working. I worked on being the perfect person who didn’t cuss, drink, smoke, talk about people and so on and so on. I had the mentality that if I wasn’t perfect then God wouldn’t love or bless me or whatever. So I was stuck in this way of living. I never wanted to make mistakes because I didn’t want to be a bad example of what a Christian should be and I didn’t want to make a mistake and go to hell. I can actually remember certain times riding down the road and thinking what if the rapture happened right now? Would I be left here? I would then go into a deep evaluation of everything I ever did wrong and repent(apologize). This way of living is very stressful and it is wrong.
After I went to college a started going to a different church (I had to I was 4 hours away!). that’s when my epiphany happened! My pastor, Kenneth A. Dean, said, “God is not held by the constraints of time. When he forgave you he wasn’t limited to just seeing what had happened yet. Jesus Christ died for your past your present and your future.” That’s when it clicked and I realized that I had limited what God could do and ended up stressing myself out with that. That was the first time I realized that when I accepted Christ that it was forever and that I couldn’t lose it. That is quite an Epiphany!
So after that mind-blowing revelation I started to evaluate my way of doing things before and my motives for doing them. I realized that while I was living the “perfect” life, I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was trying to manipulate God by doing all the right things. That is just plain wrong. I believe that our motives count just as much or more than our actions. I was supposed to be living this life and doing the right things out of love to God not to try to get on his good side. So I urge everyone to do the best things in life but do them for the right reason, because it matters!

P.S. I’d love to do a every so often spot on here where someone shares one of their Better Me Epiphany. If you have something you’d like to share email me at mark.deer02@gmail.com. Let’s help each other out!

Lesson 2 ~ Choose Your Influences

2010-09-22T09:00:00.001-07:00

While in New York I had a delicious meal at Serendipity and ended it all with their world famous frozen hot chocolate. It was wonderful! The restaurant was small and had the quintessential New York feeling to it (at least to me!). I went there because a while back Oprah went there on her show. She said it was something everyone should have in their lifetime (and I agree!) So I had to go.

In case no one has noticed she (the Big O) is an influence of mine. This made me think a little about the other influences in my life and their importance. We all have influences in our lives whether it be where we live, the people we admire, friends, coworkers, music, literature, or religon. They all play a major part in who and what we are. It's easy to leave it at that and move on.... but yall know I'm on this kick of deciding who we are. One way that we do that is to decide what influences us. My Mom is the perfect example. She is a devout Christian and pretty much only exposes herself to things that fall in line with that. She only listens to Christian music, reads Christian books, Christian programming.... and the majority of her friends are...... yup.. Christians! I admire her for cultivating her life into exactly what she desires, I believe that she is who she wants to be. Each of us should be doing the exact same thing, we should build our lives up into what we want them to be ~ which includes our influences. If you want a postive life cut out the negative people, if you want a healthy life you might want to spend a little less time with your foody friends! and so on and so on.

So the question from here is who do you want to be? What influences are in your life and are they contributing to who you want to be. For me I'm trying to expose myself to as much as possible, and at the same time not expose myself to everything out there. I cut out tv almost completely ( I watch Charlie Rose, sometimes SNL, and very seldomly 90's sitcoms). I personally believe that entertainment breeds mediocrity (future post to come....sometime!), thats why I cut it out. I read now....I know it's still entertainment but it's active entertainment, and I tend to learn something about myself or the world around me from a good book. The point is that we should all make very deliberate decisions as to what and who our influences are. We only have this one life and this one moment at a time and I think we should make it exactly how we want it.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Part of who I am and am to become is influenced by what I expose myself to on a daily basis. I will make a conscious effort to keep an open mind but still take the responsibility to decide what exposure pushes me into my best self.

Lesson #1 ~ Do What You Love

2010-09-15T21:46:00.001-07:00

Alright here goes my first thought from my wonderful New York trip. I went with a few people to New York to give school supplies to a church in Hell's Kitchen NY and to help distribute them to some of the people in need last week. It's my second time doing it and a great oppurtunity to spread some salt and light (and see a wonderful city!). On the way there we stopped at one of my friends cousins houses. We'll call them the J's because i don't know if they want to be talked about on the internet! Ha!

Anyways, the J's are amazing people! One is retired military and the other is a retired school teacher. They are retired but still involved in their fields in different capacities. They were very welcoming and had the type of home that is filled to the brim with memories, whether it was a collection antigue mirrors in all shapes and sizes, every teapot you can imagine, or dozens of postcards from good friends all around the world. I walked through their home and could tell that they lived full lives and knew how to enjoy the things they loved. They travel the world, enjoy opera, sing opera, cook decadent (and healthy) meals, and create (she makes wonderful glass collage window pieces! Awesome to look at). It was nice to see people living full lives and they really inspired me.

While i was on the trip i picked up the latest O Magazine (I love Oprah and no one will ever convince me otherwise!). This issue was the power issue, it was full of amazing people who have that sparkle that it takes to be a person of power ~ I think we all have it we just have to find it. In the magazine there was a section about the 6 rules to personal power. One of these rules is to live passionately. I don't think it's coincidence that i got this issue on this trip (it all ties together). The rule to live passionately is to find what inspires you and that your passionate about and work more and more of it into your life, just like the J's do. It's something that I already knew but it just kind of clicked on this trip when I really saw a bonafide example of it in practice. So my decision today is to do just that, fill my life with the things( and people) that I'm passionate about. I hope you'll join me.

Better Me Epiphany ~ if you love it, do it. There is nothing more simple than that. I won't wait for it, I'll make it happen everyday and every moment.

Pixelpipe

2010-09-14T21:26:00.001-07:00

Well as you can see from all the pictures i went to NYC! It was an amazing(and inspiring) trip! Many posts to come about some of my thoughts along the way! But all those pictures were a mistake! I installed a program called pixelpipe on my phone and had no idea that every picture i took automaticly loaded to my blog and facebook!! So these pictures may be deleted.... or some of them... like the one with my mouth hanging open(not a good look!)

So enjoy my technological incompetance! Ha! And i can't wait to share what i learned on the trip!!

2010-09-12T12:20:00.001-07:00

2010-09-12T11:23:00.001-07:00

2010-09-12T07:46:00.001-07:00

Paradise

2010-09-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

So i was gathering up some books to send off to one of my sister's friends for one of her classes. She has to read all of Toni Morrison's books for a lit class. (Side note~ Toni Morrison is my favorite author of all time~ please pick up one of her books! It won't be an easy read but i will stretch you in ways you never thought. I love her) anyways i came across her book called Paradise. One of the major themes of the book is that of exclusion. "Paradise is often defined by what is not allowed in". I think that is a pretty accurate view of how we define paradise. We often hear " the perfect place would be a place with no crime, no hatred, no hunger, no this or that". For some reason this all made me think about the mosque controversy. I won't say that ground zero is supposed to be anyone's paradise, but what i am saying is that it seems we are still defining what we think should be by trying to keep out what we think shouldn't be ( i may be rambling... i'm. Good at that!) The point is that is we spend all of our time trying to keep everything out what are we really cultivating? I think our daily lives are our paradise. None of us know all the answers and none of know exactly what is the best way. Oftentimes we have no way of knowing what will enrich us until it does. So my question today is how do you define paradise? What are you keeping out? I think we need to pay attention to that and not be so quick to rule everything or everybody out. We have no idea how the person that we ruled out can affect us and make us grow. I'm not suggesting that anyone compromise their beliefs but evaluate some things and you may find that the paradise you have created for yourself is not the paradise that was intended for you. Walls may keep things out but they also keep you in.

Better Me Epiphany~ i will no longer define a good life by what can't be in it. I will no longer rule out those that don't fit into my view of what they should be. I will cultivate my life and try to take every experience and learn. Paradise will not be about exclusion, it will be defined but whats in it and not whats not allowed.

Change

2010-08-27T09:05:00.001-07:00

Change, originally uploaded by ʞʍɐɥʎɐɾ.

Just because you are in the dirt doesn't make you a flower. It is the same with moving forward spiritually. Making a choice and acting on it doesn't guarantee instant results. Just like a flower starts at a seed and has to germinate then grown then bud and then bloom, so do we in our daily lives. There is no portal into it but every day is a path to it. We shouldn't beat ourselves up over the process... just move forward in it. Remember we are all on the journey so look at your friends and family (and those who just grate your nerves!) as people in process! I think it’ll make you see things (and those around you) a little differently... it does me!! Alright y'all let's keep moving forward!!

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ Results!

2010-08-26T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hey Yall! This is extremely late!! But here are the results to the Tell me What You See Challenge!!!

Here we go!!

First is V. She is my blogger friend and you can see her blog Here

Here is what she wrote ~

I thought it was you – Written August 2010
In inspiration of the woman, who looked how I seemed to be feeling at the time.

Now I am awake
asking how did this break?
What I thought
brought
nothing but the same,
and myself I blame.
Shouldn’t have given my whole heart
this pattern feels now like an art
to me,
I just can’t see!
Blinded by expectations
forgetting ramifications
don’t know how to go on.
When, oh when?! Will this battle be won?
Why couldn’t this be true?
I feel like such a fool.
God! I’ll love you forever
but grim is this weather.
It… was so damn great
you I’ll never hate.
So much I learnt
wish I didn’t get burnt
so much I thought would come true
lonely I’d be no more
someone to always stand beside
and… not do everything on my own.

Next my friend Laura over Here

This picture reminded me of how I feel sometimes. Like I'm stuck in limbo between the joy and simplicity of childhood yet reaching for the experiences of adulthood with bittersweet anticipation. It's like she wants to go but she's just not quite ready. You know what I mean?I think she's frustrated that she has to choose. And wants to keep both. I know I do. She can't decide so she'll stay there, surrounded by toys but taken captive by the nagging and demanding requirements of adulthood. Because it has come for her...like it comes for us all and this is what I'd like to tell her---"Cherish the memories. Keep a childlike spirit. But let go-it's time. And you'll find the rewards in due time."

Then Angi Said this! You can check out her blog Here

"Being a child was supposed to be my most innocent time-cries"

Then my friend Ansley said this ~

How am I suppose to play with these cars when I only have one piece of the race track left?? As I looked at the picture I had a few different ideas, but that was the first thing that popped into my head. Probable because I spent 2 hours playing with Dax and his car track - which he took apart 900 times and couldn't figure out why the cars didn't work as well on the carpet - Ha!!

Lastly saw this ~

There is a certain feeling that you get when you belong in two worlds. You would think that it is a feeling of elation because you are home in more places but the reality is that you really belong nowhere. You don’t quite fit into childhood and you definitely aren’t an adult…. So where are you? Who are you? And where do you go from here? The hardest part is that you don’t have a choice, nature makes that one for you and until you get there you are simply along for the journey. So the thing is see most here is “trapped”.

Thanks to all who have particiapted!!! I love seeing through your eyes!!! and a special thanks goes to Himitsuhana for allowing me to use her wonderful photograph!! you see more of her pictures Here .

Thought of the night!

2010-08-14T00:54:00.001-07:00

Life is good everyday that we have it. We just have to decide to believe it.

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ 3

2010-08-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Yall! This is the third installment of the Tell Me What You See Challenge! The purpose of the challenge is to get our creative juices flowing and hopefully see the world through someone else’s eyes (even if it’s just for a moment).

Here’s how it works! I post a picture like the one below and each of you simply write down what you see. It can be a story, a poem, or just an initial reaction. Just write something from YOUR point of view! You can leave it in the comment section of this post or you can email it me at mark.deer@gmail.com. In a week I will post all of the reactions to the picture and we can all get a look from someone else’s perspective!

I was traipsing through Flickr yesterday and ran across the wonderful picture above. It is form a wonderful photographer from Italy named Himitsuhana. She has a great collection of photography that pulls you into a little fantasy moment! I love them. You can view all of her pictures Here .

So now it’s your turn. Who is this girl? What’s going on in her life right now? What is she feeling? Just some thoughts! I can’t wait to see what you see!

To get an idea of how the last "Tell Me What You See Challenge" went look
HERE and HERE

See you Soon!!

My Second Ever Blog Giveaway Contest!

2010-08-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

Hey Yall!! My Friends over at Hello Splendor have a new contest that I have entered! it is for a free professional Blog Layout by Fabulous K !!! That would be awesome you can go Here to enter for yourselves! But I really hope I win!!

Back from the land of procrastination

2010-08-03T22:07:00.001-07:00

"Forget about the worries of the past... they'll only contrast with what the future holds" ~ Adrianne Archie

This is a lyric to a song by Adrianne Archie that I wanted to share. I have been in a distant land for the past week and a half... it is a land that is quite deceiving... it is known only as "Procrastination" and yes it is a nation unto itself! I have no idea why I decided to visit but I did and was captured and have not written or thought for way too long! So I'm back! I was stuck in a little rut and just felt... well uninspired. You know how you are really excited about something and you tell the people around you and they just kind of give you a blank stare? Well that's what it was like when I told people about this blog. Then I hopped the plane and crossed over the river of despair(it is much darker than the brochure stated) and into procrastination. So once I was there I started beating myself up, calling myself names and then I came across that song and I smiled. I said "you know what? So what I've been a slacker and haven't exactly followed through on my intent to write! Putting it off won't change that fact" So I am forgetting this slight lull and moving full speed ahead. I enjoy it and I will do it. I cannot wait to see the contrast between my past and my future.

Better Me Epiphany ~ My past is only there to make my future brighter. Mess-ups, mistakes, regrets only add color to the painting. The main thing to do is to keep the brush wet.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.9

The Company You Keep

2010-07-20T23:03:00.001-07:00

There is nothing like good food and good people.

Today i had luch with some friends ~ some good friends and some I don't know the best but enjoy them just the same. It was a great lunch full of laughs and good conversation. For those of you who know me you know i love to eat and talk! So lunch was nice we talked and laughed and just relished each others company. The conversation was easy and positive and when it was all done i left happy and ready for the rest of the day.

I got to thinking about it and wondered why isn't every day like this? Why is it that sometimes i leave a meal with "friends" and feel like a mack truck has run me and a woodland animal over at the same time? So i decided that won't happen anymore and that starts with me. No longer will I sit back and entertain negativity or add my own salt to the stew. I think to be around good company you have to be good company ~ it goes along with the saying to have good friends you have to be one first. So i will try to be good company. It'll be tough ~ sometimes a mean juicy story tastes so good coming out. But the payoff isn't equal to the feeling you have when you know you've spent an hour uplifted. Now i know everyone has bad days ~ no one can be sunny all the time. But there is a difference between a cloudy day and a cloudy life. So i am planning to spend my time in the sun and hopefully can sun up the people around me as well.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Cherish whats good. Feed it, weed it, and cultivate the most joyous life possible and put everything that doesn't fit into that in the compost.

The Saffron Kitchen ~ Review

2010-07-18T22:03:00.001-07:00

I recently finished reading the book "The Saffron Kitchen" by Yasmin Crowther. It was a wonderfully written book about immigration in England, adjusting to a new culture, the lasting impact of decisions, and dealing with the past. Seems like a lot jammed into one book right? It is, but it felt effortlessly executed.

    The story follows two main characters a mother and daughter over around a 6 month period. The mother is from Iran and lives in England and the daughter, a school teacher, grew up in England in a hodgepodge mix of a household. There is an extremely traumatic event that sends the mother into a frenzy and back to Iran to deal with her past. The daughter follows her there and through it all they come to understand each other.

     I found the story to be heartwarming and frustrating all at the same time. A giant piece of the story is about the mother's secret past. She has kept it hidden from her family and it has tortured her for years. We learn this story very slowly a piece at a time (which i love! I think it's essential to great story telling). But the thing is that in the end the mother's past rules her. She doesn't get over it or neccesarily learn from it... she rejoins it. A big thing for me is to not dwell in or on the past. It happened.. it's done. The main character couldn't do that in this story. She was stuck 30 years prior, regretting what happened and how she was treated. She went back to Iran, back to her old village, and back to a forgotten life. That is what i didn't like about this story.

What I did like about this story and book was it's focus on family. We all have our own individualized view about what family is and how it should work, but this story was another great example of how there is no great model for family. They all work differently. The book shows us what life is like in a very rural Iran. There is a community set up that cares for the children communally. I liked that. Then we also get to see what a blended household with different cultures can be like. It was an eye opener but still gave me that warm home feeling.

   Our decisions have a shelf life. Another major theme throughout the book was dealing with past mistakes. The mother in this story made a mistake and 30 years later was still viewed in the same way. I thought that this was so powerful because many of us are held to these same standards. Sometimes we are punished for something we did and we literally are not that person anymore. It makes you think about everyday decisions and consequences more and it also made me think about if I'm doing the same to people in my life. We should applaud when people make steps forward and not remind them of who they were. That made me think of my brother and now i am working on trying to see him for the person he is now and not who he was when we were growing up. Even when we forget about the past and move forward we still have to deal with the consequences of our actions, but no one should be held in the cage of past mistakes

Overall i think it's a great read. The prose is beautiful and descriptive. It really is a trip to a foreign land without the ticket! I recomend it and hope you read it. It was interesting to see how women function in that society. I don't know how accurate it was but it was very convincing. The book also helped me understand a little better what it is like to assimilate and what a epic struggle that can be. It made me think about our own immigrants here and if they feel just as out of water as the main character in the book did. Well thats what I got from it you tell me what you did.

Sickness with a side of paranoia please!

2010-07-15T22:55:00.001-07:00

Well it has officially been a week since i have put anything on here. I have been sick! Tonsilitis strep throat comatose! I am getting back into the swing of things now though!

Luckily i was at home visiting family when the evil throat monster attacked me. My Mom took wonderful care of me! I survived it. It was very odd being there and depending on another person though. I am an adult... single.. and very used to being self sufficient. So it was very odd to be there and to be taken care of. I have conned myself into believing that a significant other isnt the central purpose in our lives. I have wonderful friends who i spend time with, lots to think and write about... all of that.... i don't need someone else. Not opposed to it but don't need it you know? All of that wonderful ideal and then i have to get sick... not ordinary sick but drool, can't get out of bed, passing through consciousness, can't talk kind of sick... and i needed someone. That is the pitfall for all of "I can do it myselfers" there will always come a time when you have to depend on someone else. So does this mean my theory of being all i need is useless? That i don't know. It's just out of my comfort zone.... but maybe i should change that. Maybe i should find a dependent relationship so someone can wipe my snot when i need it..... You tell me all you wonderful relationshipers ~ if you have great friends and are self sufficient.. do you really need someone to come home to? Why?

Better Me Epiphany ~ Evaluate every concrete ideal you have... you may find some cracks

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ Results

2010-07-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Alright Y'all I am admittedly very behind on getting this up. I am going to pull the holiday card as my excuse... It was the fourth! I was celebrating freedom....

The "Tell Me What You See Challenge" is a way for all of us to get our creative juices flowing. I post a picture like the one above and then we all write about what we think is going on there. It can be short, long, an observation, a poem, or a piece of fiction. The picture above is our picture for the week. I am excited to have had a good response! So we will get down to the nitty gritty and see the results.

First was my friend Brandi over HERE. She is going through a journey of weight loss on her blog! check her out.

This is what she had to say

“To me it looks like someone is taking time to stop and capture the busy lives of the people below him/her.”

Next Lunar Eclipse from the Soap Opera Experiment stopped by. She has a regular running Soap Opera through Blog!! It’s a fun blog to stop by and soak in a little drama!

Here is what she had to say

“It looks like someone is watching a lot of busy people, and probably hoping that the world will slow down.”

Next is Tansy. You can see her blog HERE. She has lots of pictures and lots to say! Stop by and check her out!

Here is what she had to say

“First of, I love this person's sneakers. I imagine that they're very brightly colored. I envision this person is sitting on a ledge with a bunch of friends just hanging out. The people below are insignificant. This person is just taking it all in. Looking out at all the hustle and bustle. Taking a step back from life. He or she might not be hanging out with friends. They might just be people watching. Creepy.. but entertaining.”

Lastly is me. Here is what I saw. It’s a conversation. I’ll let you decide who they are and what their intentions are.

“I can give you everything in this world if you give me everything in yours.”

“I know what you promised me… and what you say that you have done for me. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it right now.”

“Come over here. I want to show you something.”

“I really don’t like heights.”

“I just want to show you something. You see all those people down there?”

“Yeah?”

“They all have the same option as you do.”

“How can I have everything in this world and them too?

“You don’t know me very well yet.”

“I don’t know. It’s hard for me to just take you on your word on this. How do I know you are telling the truth?”

“You just have to trust me.”

“So how do I do it?”

“It requires a leap……”

So this is the Second installment of the "Tell Me What You See Challenge"! And I believe it was a success!! Thanks everyone for tuning in and sharing how you see this world around us!!

Upkeep

2010-07-03T17:28:00.001-07:00

I bought a house 2 years ago. It's beautiful small, two bedrooms, over a hundred years old and remodeled 6 years ago. I love it! When i bought it, it felt like something new but still had the feeling of history to it as well. I love used things becuase they are usually cheaper and because they hold a little bit of someone else's life in them. I love that thought and feeling. The thing about owning something for yourself is that it is much less magical in practice than it is in conception. In reality owning something requires upkeep. My house for example -There is grass to be cut, drains to be unclogged, air conditioning to be fixed, floors to be mopped, termite men to hire, and we won't even start about the bills! It comes with the territory and it's worth it. Anything worth having is worth taking care of.

It is the same with our lives. I wrote yesterday about the themes of our lives and doing a daily assessment of what they are and changing them if you don't like them. I think that is so important but it is only one of the many things that we must do as upkeep in our lives. We own our lives. We are responsible for what they become and how they are lived. So it takes work to keep them in tip top shape. Today i am literally cleaning up shop! Dishes, laundry, vaccuuming all that. It is a part of what i consider upkeep because my life will be a clean one ( even though i love to live in clutter where i know where everything is because everything is everywhere! ~ but it's not good...). But it goes further than that. I have to evaluate my relationships, my body, my job, my time, my spiritual walk, my exposure (to negativity, positivity, hate, lust ~ I'm talking about entertainment).. all of it. Anything unnoticed now will be hell to notice later. So my word of the day is upkeep. It sucks. It's laborious. It is neccessary to living the best way possible.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Take out the trash! I'm gonna spring clean my life on a regular basis! Out with the old and in with the new!

Identify Decide Conquer

2010-07-02T23:25:00.001-07:00

The other day i heard some one say "it has become the theme of your life". This made me think for a second and i agree. Our lives have a theme and we decide them. For a while there it felt like my theme was crisis. I was jumping from one issue to the next ~ No money, no power, no friends, broken car, car accident, car break in... the list goes on and on. I remember stopping and saying enough is enough! I can't live like this anymore. I know that life events will always happen nothing will always (or ever!) go right, but our mentality about these events is what matters. I place a lot of importance on my words and my thoughts (notice the name of the blog!). I believe that we have the power to speak our existence out.. we have life and death in our mouths. Many of us have spoken out themes into our lives and we don't even realize it. Everyday and every minute we can change that.

I know people who spend every day wishing it was different. That is a theme. When you are totally dissatified with right now then you can't enjoy it. It's impossible to do so, so the result is negativity. Every moment every event is a disaster (in their minds). That is a ridiculous way to live, but it won't change until minds change. So the challenge today is to identify what your lifes' theme is. Is it joy, sadness, disaster, hatred, love, crisis (like mine was) or some sort of culmination? You can't change anything that you aren't aware of. So now we have all been given notice. It's a daily assessment that I believe can help us all to live our best lives. Themes can sprout up in hours if you run with them. So identify, decide, and conquer!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Life really is what you make it! I will daily assess my life's theme and adjust accordingly. The only thing that can keep me from living my best is me and my perception!

So excited!!!

2010-07-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

My new Blogger friend V over HERE named as one of her blogs of the week ( somehow i missed it when it first happened, but I'm excited)!! Thats so awesome to me!! and thanks V! You guys should really check her out as well. She has a daily scripture and goes in depth on it! It's encouraging to see someone so committed to growing spiritually and helping us do the same!! Look her up I know you will get something out of it.

Better Me Epiphany ~ Soak in the good news when it comes!

Tell Me What You See Challenge ~ Reminder

2010-07-01T14:50:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Fagu.

Hey Y'all! It's the last day to be a part of the "Tell Me What You See Challenge". I hope to get a few more participants so we can all see the many different views! you can post in the comments section or email me at mark.deer02@gmail.com

To see what the challenge is about you can look HERE and HERE

Happy Tears - Review

2010-06-27T23:06:00.001-07:00

I just finished watching "Happy Tears" (i got it from the Redbox... i must remember to return it tommorrow!). I will say that I enjoyed the movie but it's not a movie I can wholeheartedly recommend. The plot of the story is that two sister's (Parker Posey and Demi Moore) return home to deal with their father who has been diagnosed with dementia. The sisters are polar opposites - Posey being eccentric, flighty, and delusional and Moore being a responsible hippie type older sister. We see them deal with past issues - a cheating scumbag type father, the death of their mother, and growing up in this type of household - and we see them deal with their father's new girlfriend, a crack-addict pretending to be a nurse and taking advantage of their father. The whole movie is very quirky - Parker frequently goes off into dream states where she imagines sales clerks turning into buzzards, her husband literally bouncing off padded walls, and Parker floating around on a giant jellyfish. This may sound crazy, but i felt it fell in accurately with her character. Through it all there are lots of heartbreaking scenes and a few touching ones mixed in. There are no real "Happy Tears" in the movie but it didn't leave me feeling depressed either. i really liked the cinematagraphy in the movie for the most part (I don't know why but indie films always seem to have that unique look to them). The movie follows this journey over few weeks and we get to watch!

Now to the why i liked the movie!

One - there was a quote in the end about looking for something in life without knowing what it looked like, and the suprise and pleasure that you get when you find it and see it for the first time. I like this idea because i think that really applies to all of us. We are all searching for something and half the time we don't know what it is. I don't mean spiritually although that does apply depending on where you are in your journey. I know for myself that I am on a journey to find and become the best me and find my best life. I don't know what they look like but i know that they are out there and am excited to see them when i get there!

Two- i am very interested in the social unit called family. I work with families and am always fascinated at how they work. In my line of work we tend to think that we know the one way that is a normal safe functioning family and try to structure those that we work with in that manner. The reality is that there are so many ways that familes work and successfully function. I see that every day. I will talk to a family and it is nothing like what i view is normal, but it is functioning. So I saw yet another example of a very different family than mine, and it wasn't the best but it did work for them. I enjoyed seeing it.

So in synopsis i liked but can't recommend it. You decide.. has anyone else seen it? Tell me what you thought!

Tell Me What You See Challenge

2010-06-25T07:13:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by Fagu.

Hey Y'all! This is the second Tell Me What You See Challenge!

The Tell Me What You See Challenge is an oppurtunity for all of us to get our creative juices flowing and express ourselves to each other. I posted the picture above from a wonderful photographer in Brazil. You can see more of his pictures HERE.

I would love to see the different perspectives that all of you have on this picture. Who's feet are those?, whats going on down there?, what led up to this? really whatever story or observation you can think of!

How it works is that you can email me what you think to mark.deer02@gmail.com or simply post it in the comments section and a week from today I will post all of the reactions to the picture. Then we can all see what each other thought. I think it's a great reminder that we are all in this world together but experience it so differently. I look forward to seeing what you see!

To get an idea of how the last "Tell Me What You See Challenge" went look HERE

So sit back relax and tell me what you see in this wonderful picture!

Review ~ Little Bee

2010-06-22T22:23:00.001-07:00

Tonight I finished Chris Cleave's most recent novel "Little Bee". Starting the book I didn't know what to expect.. I bought it because I liked the cover! It turned out to be a great choice. I won't lie to you and say that this is a book that will make you feel good, but it will make you laugh, cry, and think very hard about this world we live in.

The best part of the story is the suprise so I will just give you a introduction and not the plot. Little Bee is a nigerian refugee seeking asylum in London (Modern day London... it's a great snapshot of how refugees/immigrants are sometimes treated....."how you doin' Arizona?"). We see her process this new world and she comes into contact with someone from her past. There is quite a backstory that is pretty brutal but it really made me think. Thata all you get, this is a story that you simply have to read for yourself!

My favorite quote from the book is "We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived." ~ That is so powerful to me. It makes me think about what I've survived... scars seen and unseen. I love that perspective because it takes the shame out of your past, you have something to remind you of where you've been... but you survived it. It's not who you are but where you have come from.

This book also made me think about love for others... friends, loves, strangers... what would I do for another person. We all would say in our purest voices that we would give all for others. This book delves into that and we see how some react to this question. Read it and tell me what you think.

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Embrace Hopelessness

2010-06-20T00:06:00.001-07:00

Today i was rereading a book called "When things fall apart- heart advice for difficult times". It's a book written by Pema Chodron, a buddhist nun. I am a Christian and will always be a Christian but i was still interested to read what she had to say.

In the book there is an entire chapter about embracing hopelessness. She says that to live a life of hope is to continually be unhappy with who and where you are. It's very hard for me to think of hope as a bad thing. I've always considered hope as one of our greatest gifts. It helps us get through tough times because we have a hope for something better. She continues on in the chapter and says that living with the thought that we will finally get it all together is unrealistic, which I agree with. We are flawed from the beginning, we don't have the human ability to ever be totally perfect. She talks about how hope and fear are intimately related and says that hope comes from us feeling that we lack something... that we are in some sort of poverty. I think that i agree with the idea of being hopeless on a micro scale but not a macro one. As a Christian i believe that i have eternal security and look forward to heaven. I also see the dispair that comes with continually looking ahead. If we spend every moment planning this and planning that, thinking that when i graduate i will be happy, or when i get that job and so on and so on then we miss out on right now. That is where hopelessness is beneficial when we stop looking to the future to satisfy us then we can enjoy today. We can not think about what is to come and completely soak in every moment that we are living. So i encourage you to be hopless in the moment. Don't think about tommorrow or next week. Enjoy your life right now. Everyone knows the saying tommorrow never comes, well i firmly believe that. Live your best life right now!

Better Me Epiphany ~ be hopeless in the moment. Don't worry about who you are becoming enjoy who and where you are. You can still work to become better, just don't wait til you get there to smile.

Posted on the go!

The Big Black Spot in the Ocean..... and Oprah

2010-06-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

"I think the president is doing the best anybody can,” is what Oprah recently said about how President Obama is handling the oil spill. I am a little undecided at this point. I have heard a lot of different points of opinion and belief.

A friend I were talking the other day and they basically said that the president responded as soon as Louisiana declared it a state of emergency, which was days after the initial explosion and the oil spill started. Apparently the Federal government can only intervene in what's happening in an individual state after that state asks for it. That makes sense right?

On the other hand it has been oh so many days and there still is no plan set in place to help these families who are losing their livelihood. The president addressed that the other day in his speech but there is the opinion that there should have already been an immediate plan to assist them.

Then there is a whole other opinion that thinks that the president should have stepped in and dived to the bottom of the ocean and plugged the gushing oil pipe himself. Not literally of course but the opinion is that he should already have taken over and sent government experts to fix the issue.

And lastly there is the almighty Oprah’s opinion.. that he is doing the best that can be expected. There are limits to what anyone even the president can do. My mind has not been made up yet and I would love to hear what you guys think about it. Let me know!

To read the full Oprah Story go Here

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Tell Me What You See Challege ~ Results!

2010-06-17T05:48:00.000-07:00

Alrite y'all here we go!! The Tell Me What You See Challenge is an oppurtunity to show our individual outlooks. I put up a picture (the one above) and challenged all who wanted to write about who this woman was, or their opinion of her, or what she was doing.... whatever really! I did not get an overwhelming response but i did get a few!! and here they go!

First my friend over at Rada Rhythm and Rhyme Check her out! She is hilarious and her blog is a lot of fun! She wrote this!

Boy, her legs are splotchy. Bet she doesn't wear sunscreen." Just being honest!She looks like she is relaxing after a tough day cutting meat in a small NYC deli. Now she is just hanging out until it's time to go play Bunco with some friends. She'll probably have a cocktail there, too. And I bet she has atleast three cats...

Isn't she fun!

Then my new Blogger Friend V wrote this:

For days it rained

and my heart pained,

You are gone

and for you I long.

I still miss your warmth now.

I couldn't answer - what, when and how?!

You took my heart

left before I could add my part!

But the sun came out today

and nothing stood in my way,

I could say my say

because the sun drew your darkness away.

This is what she wrote about her poem ~ I think I wrote it, in "inspiration" of how the sun makes you feel better no matter what you're going through. And for me, it was partly losing someone suddenly, and I think that's what the poem is about. She lost someone when she didn't expect it, and now she can move on, because she has successfully grieved, there isn't darkness anymore.

It’s nice isn’t it?If you enjoy this then I just know you’ll love her blog!! You can look at it Here

This is the little something I wrote last night… I do so well with deadlines!! Here's what I saw!

Ooooo! It's been a long day. I guess you were not expecting me to talk about the present huh? I look like I'm at the age where I only want to talk about the life I lived and not the life I'm living. Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but I have a lot to tell you about just for today. Like how I spent the morning at the boys and girls club with all those precious children! They call me ms. Minnie.... my last name is Miniola. You pronounce that men-ee-oh-la, but I love my nickname there. The children and I spent the morning working in the vegetable garden. We have planted corn, squash, beans, and tomatoes. I taught them about the three sisters. You start with a ring of about 8 corn seeds then outside that you put a ring of beans and outside that a ring of squash. The squash leaves keep the grass out and the beans grow up the corn stalks. It's just like a family to protect each other and use each other at the same time! We didn't plant today just dug out some weeds, spread fertilizer, and watered (which of course turned into a water fight!). Those little preciouses are the best. Well after I left there I walked up to 29th street and stopped in on one of my oldest friends. She can't move around much and relies on me and a few other people to come keep her company. So I went and talked and we ate a nice lunch. We talked about all the goings on that are happening today. She of course was upset about this oil spill business, and I was talking about getting ready to vote. We always get into these mini debates about who's a liar, a thief, and who might actually do a good honest job. It's good to have someone around that you can disagree with; it helps you think differently about whatever the topic at is. My mind wasn't changed of course but I see her point. After I left her house I got on the bus and headed back up town. I love public transportation, it forces a bunch of people with no similarities (other than geographical location) to get together in one place. I get to hear different languages, see different ways of living, and of course the clothes! I won't lie to you and make you think that we all sit around on the bus and talk, but it is still exposure. I love it. The bus stopped at the library. It is a sight for all to see. It is a mammoth with flammable insides (hopefully this one never goes extinct). I went inside and got a few books to read in the evening. After that I went to the cemetery to visit my daughter. I outlived her in years but I'm still trying to get even with her in life. When she died (car accident.... damn drunk driver) I found her diaries. I met her all over again and discovered a life I didn't know she lived. I could go down the laundry list of the many things that she did, but I won't. I can just say that an amazing person came from me and I get a little bit of pride when I think that I had something to do with it. Ever since then I have tried to remember her by living and not abiding. Sometimes I have to stop and sit on a park bench (and look like I've been hit by a truck carrying a summer supply of sweat), but I won't stop. This is the best way to live! I just wish that she was still here to do it with me.

So I think the first challenge was a success!!! Thanks guys for participating!! i enjoyed it and will have a new picture up soon for the next challenge!!

Posted on the go!

What makes you so important to me?

2010-06-16T16:37:00.001-07:00

Umbilicus - it means the core or heart

I learned this word today and it made me think about my relationships well specifically friendships. Anyone who knows me knows that i value friendships almost above all else, afterall you choose friends (you don't get that option with family!). Friends are our chosen family. I didn't get the nickname "friend" from nowhwere. So this word makes me think about what ties me to the people around me. What is at the core of my friendships and why do i love all these people i call friend. It's something that i want to spend the next few days thinking about. I believe that in order to really value something you have to understand it on some level. When you find out why these people are in your life you can build on it. I'm hoping that when i do this i don't come up with superfluous reasons for all the bonds around me. I guess the upside to that is that i can work on making these connections deeper. So i'm wondering what do you think is the umbilcus of most of your relationships? Is it work, food, common interests? You tell me! I'd love to hear how your friendships are motivated!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Fill your life to the brim with the people you love the most. We were put on this earth together for a reason. Love them and let them love you back!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

2010-06-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Yall!!! it's the last day to be a part of the Tell Me What You See Challenge !!! I hope to hear from you soon!!! I will post all that i get tomorrow!! You can email me at mark.deer02@gmail.com

What a weekend!

2010-06-14T15:11:00.001-07:00

So this weekend was quite an experience!

Friday- I met a friend of mine and he showed me his new house! It was beautiful! He always told me he was a millionaire and now i believe him! I should've taken pictures.... but i didn't! Then i went out in greenville and met one of my most favorite people's cousin! We had lots of fun! Well after we left a few of my friends and i were hanging out in the parking lot laughing and all of that. Then a man (homeless maybe?) Came and started talking to us and asked us for money a ride all of that. I have to admit that i was not the nicest to him. There was lots of sarcastic banter exchanged and i know i should have been nicer but i wasn't. Well we got ready to leave and i went to get in the car and the man came and pretended to shake my hand knocked my phone of my hand... punched me in the face and knocked me down.... hence the black eye! It's cute right? Well he ran away after that. That was the start of my weekend.....

Saturday- my best friend from beaufort graduated from grad school! I was so excited! I put a pic up! The base covered my good didn't it? That night me and my other best friend were supposed to go to columbia so he could sing... but transmission trouble on the way. So we came back and i decided it would be a great day to change my brake pads! Mind you i've never done it before but how hard could it be? Right? Well of course i did something wrong... unhooked the brake line? And my brakes wouldnt work! Gave up for the night!

Sunday- my best friend that graduated the day before had her beautiful daughter dedicated at church! It was awesome and a great time for the family to dedicate to be godly influences in her life! So wonderful! I went back home worked on the car and found out a needed another... socket? Ha! No way to get there... so i gave up again! I was very stressed out wanted to give up on everything move to Peru and live on mud and bugs.... but i didn't! I a proud to say that today after work i got the socket and fixed my car! My eye is looking better! And i made it through!

The better me epiphany for the weekend is to NEVER give up even when you have been beaten(literally) bruised, and stranded! Life is hard.. it's supposed to be but we all have it in us to stick it out and keep moving forward!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Sex and the City 2 .....not wholesome but hilarious!

2010-06-10T21:59:00.001-07:00

Sex and the City 2 was hilarious! From the costumes(yes costumes!) to the characters. We pop in on Carrie in her second year of marriage - and the monotany that her marriage has become, Charlotte dealing with being overwhelmed by her second child, Miranda having a job crisis, and Samantha.. oh Samantha... dealing with menopause the Suzanne Summers way.

The movie opens up with Liza Minelli doing a rendition of "single ladies" and the fun just continues! I won't give away the plot but we see the women go on a trip and during their vacation they each deal with their own issues. There is lots of drama, funny moments, fashion, and sweet emotional moments thrown in at the perfect spots.

(Side note on the "fashion"- some of the stuff they put on was ridiculous, but for some reason when they put it on it seemed like perfection.... you be the judge)

Their trip is to the middle east so they address the role of women there and we see the sharp contrast of the two ways of living. Some of the middle eastern scenes seemed a little sterotypical.... and slightly New Testament ( i thought someone was going to get stoned), but overall it was a backdrop and not the theme... so I was ok with it. So i give it a thumbs up! It probably wouldn't be the best movie for conservative people... but it's Sex and the City! So I'm sure you already know that! Grab some friends and go laugh you'll love it!

Posted on the go!

Tell Me What You See Challenge!!

2010-06-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all of you know about people watching... right? You sit still and the world aorund you moves.. you listen to conversations, drink in body language, and come to your own conclusions about what could be going on. well i thought it would be fun to use the same concept with a picture. I have attached a picture on to here and I would love to see all of the different perspectives on it. Everyone tells their own story well in this case tell us this woman's story. It doesn't have to be long or anything, but i will give it a week and you can email your piece and i will put it in a new post next week!! It will be fun and think get all of us to stretch our creative muscles. One of the greatest things about the world is that we all see it differently- I'd love to see your view. This could be a weekly challenge for all of us and if you are into photogrpahy and think you have a good one then send it to me and we can use them througout the weeks.

The first picture is from a great street photographer in NYC. You can some of his other photos here Sion Fullana

So sit down and drink some coffee look at the wonderful picture and tell what you want about this woman!!

Better Me Update!

2010-06-08T19:32:00.001-07:00

The better me campaign is still up and running! There was a slight setback today... i got reminded of who I'm trying not to be. I can't be mad because it's my fault. I haven't been the best that i can be and i have to suffer the consequences. The reminder just didn't affect me that well. I went back there feeling hopeless and wanting to hit the restart switch... but of course it's not that easy! I need to be more diligent about being the best me.. there are so many distractions! But i will get there! I'm thinking that maybe getting better organized is a good step right? That should help! Next step is staying motivated!

The trouble with staying motivated are days like this where you don't see results and feel like you are in the same place. So i just have to remind myself that the only thing instant is pudding! And that still takes a while. So i am going to encourage myself that it will get better and I will get better. It is a process.. a tough one at that but things will change. I will change!

Better Me Epiphany for the day is to not become discouraged keep making changes and i will see results! Tommorrow is organizin time!

Posted on the go!

2010-06-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Just entered my first ever blog giveaway thing!! It's pillows!! you can never get enough of them!!! check them out and enter yourself!!! go here
AphroChic Giveaway

God is in the Details

2010-06-07T08:03:00.001-07:00

Christine sits solemnly in her pleated skirt on a lonely park bench. The breeze gently pushing by tickles her legs sending a shiver up her spine. Royal blue raceways jut from her waist, and as the sky begins to sweat she sees little droplets pushing and pulling until they reach the end of the track dissipating on her knees. She hears the melodious drip, drop, pitter, patter as the perfectly formed spheres of hydrogen and oxygen spatter on her forehead. They form miniscule rivers down her face over her pronounced nose and onto her chapped lips. She tastes nature’s sweet concoction and smiles. Her ears grow keen to the sound of the earth greedily swallowing up this rare substance. She hears a deep MMMMM, then a loud crack from above which she assumes means "you're welcome". A flash of light cuts through and whips down, reminding all that see who is in charge. A display of grace and power all in an instant. The girl is humbled by her role in this whole affair. The thing about such a show is that there has to be someone to watch, to experience all this splendor and majesty. None of the others do. They scatter with angry faces, inconvenienced by what they view as a break in their beautiful day. They scurry for cover; under trees, into buildings and cars and look back at sweet Christine like she's the crazy one who just doesn't seem to get it.

Janelle Monae - Archandroid

2010-06-05T00:10:00.001-07:00

I recently came across an artist named Janelle Monae the other day while watching Carson Daly ~ it was late and i was bored... he's usually not my favorite!. Anyways i was very impressed by her stage prescence and instrumentation so i youtubed her really hard and decided that i must buy her cd. Wonderful decision if i do say so myself! She is amazing and the album is ridiculous! I would describe it as epic! She has decided to tell a story about an android from the future ~ not just any android the best of the best - the Archandroid. I know what you are thinking... androids? Music about androids? It's an odd concept but an effective one. This android is on a journey to be her best and use her best attributes~superpowers~ to save the world. Still sounds odd right? Well this journey that she takes teaches us the listener about life, love, balance, and ultimate freedom.

The music on the cd is awesome! She has combined poetry, hip-hop, punk rock, disney symphonies, motown, Lauryn Hill, horns, orchestra, and what sounds beatlesesque to me into one cohesive album.

Here is a track synopsis ~ there are 18 tracks so i wonKt do them all!

Dance or die ~ features the wonderful Saul Williams. It's a combination of spoken word poetry and hip-hop. What i got from it was that it's our choice to make our dreams ~ they are forever we make the choice dance or die

Faster ~ up-tempo love song

Locked inside ~ a do- wopesque song about the freedom of love

Sir Greendown ~ disney undertones love song about the Archandroids love interest Sir Greendown

Cold war ~ know what you are fighting for stand for your convictions

Tightrope ~ features Big Boi from Outkast. This song sounds James Browny about balance in life

Oh Maker ~ reminds me of a beatles song! Love it favorite phrase is "suffering sinking sand" i can imagine sylvester the cat saying that!

Come alive ~ this is the punk rock song! It's crazy she does the most unique thing with her voice at the 2:20 mark! Ridiculous!

Neon Valley Street ~ beautiful ballad that reminds me of Ex-factor by Lauren Hill

57821 ~ that is the Archaindroids id number. This song is beautiful. It sounds like a classic beatles song.... guitar beatiful echo and harmonies! Love it!

Say you'll go ~ love song! Beautifully arranged

Babopeya ~ has a wonderful drag to it! Her voice is amazing!

I love the cd! Every song is an experience. The instrumentation on every song is perfectly arranged. Real music with real heart, soul, innovation, and positivity! So look it up and listen to some of the tracks on her website ~ janellemonae.com ~ hope you love it as much as I do

Posted on the go!

Gross movie

2010-06-04T23:12:00.001-07:00

So tonight i saw the movie Splice.....it was a mistake to say the least! The premise was that there were two biochemical engineers combining the dna of different species.... of course they couldn't stop with animals so they added human DNA into it - one of the scientists dna to be exact. Then we see this thing grow up and the scientists are like parents to it.... and then one of the scientists (the guy) has sex with it... the thing changes genders and rapes the female scientist kills the guy scientist and then gets killed . The movie ends with the female scientist enpregnated by the thing that she created with her own DNA. Very gross and very pointless i didn't know what it was about before i went so please don't judge! So the movie gets the hands down rating because the thumbs down rating is not severe enough! Don't watch it!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

2010-06-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all!! It is a wonderful Wednesday!! I applied for that job yesterday!! so i have my fingers crossed for that!! I could use the income.

Today i decided to make my first submission to a magazine for publication! I you have never checked out The Sun Magazine you should! It is an awesome ad free magazine that publishes very unique fiction, poems, reviews, and photography! I haven't ordered a subscription yet but i want to! If you enjoy creativity in print you would love this magazine! So check it out. They offer everyone a free trial copy so you can get a taste of it!

The piece I submitted today is one that I wrote a few months ago. It's a metaphor about mental illness. I would put it on here but i think that I can't until i get an answer from them. I'm excited because I have been procrastinatning for so long and letting the fear of rejection keep me from trying. No More though!!! Pray for me and anyone who wants to read it just leave a comment or something and i can send it to you!

So the better me epiphany for today is stop waiting for the right time to do anything you want. the only time we have for sure is the moment that we are living. so take it and create the life you always wanted... and if you have the life you always wanted keep doing the things that make it better!

Better Me Day 4?

2010-05-31T21:54:00.001-07:00

I made it home from a wonderful weekend in Beaufort, SC! Traffic slowed me down a little but i made it!

Chavice house-sat for the weekend and cleaned up my kitchen! Soo nice to come to a house cleaner than you left it! What a great friend! I even cut some hydrangeas from the yard today too ~all the credit goes to Mrs. Rada! She had great pictures of her flowers on her blog! Thanks for the idea Friend!

So the weekend is done and i am back at work tommorrow... i gotta sike myself up for that! No one wants to go back to the grind after 3 glorious days away from it all!

We went to the river yesterday ~ Edisto River! It was so pretty and peaceful i'm pretty sure my sister dunked me 40 times! IKd post pics but im pretty sure that none of my family is ready to have swimsuit pics on the net! We are workin on it though!

My thought for the day is to cherish everyone around you no matter how minute their role is in your life. Everyone and everything is in your life for a reason. It's amazing how everything is perectly orchestrated out that way.

P.s. i'm applying for a second job tommorrow so pray i get it!!

Location : 308 E Franklin St, Anderson, SC 29624,

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Better Me Day 3

2010-05-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

So i am home in beufort today! I spent a wonderful day hanging out with my family. We are grilling hotdogs and hamburgers tonite and hopefully playing some cards.... it's the Deer family tradition! I'm feeling really grateful to have such a beautiful place to come home to!

We finished cleaning out my Mom's office today! After 18 years she has decided to stop working at the school that i graduated from! 18 years is a ridiculous amount of time. I'm excited for this new chapter in her life! It goes to show that it's never too late to try something new and see what it brings you! I wonder what my next new step will be?! We will see! What about you? What new things are you trying? Let me know give me some ideas!

Location : 37-51 Lacey St, Yemassee, SC 29945,

Posted on the go!

Location : 37-51 Lacey St, Yemassee, SC 29945,

Posted on the go!

Better Me Day 2!

2010-05-28T12:17:00.001-07:00

From Evernote:

Better Me Day 2!

I jus got done watching a GREAT movie! It's called life support. It's about a recovered drug addict who works for an AIDS awareness agency. It follows her through her journey to reconnect with her daughter that she lost custody of. It made me think a lot about the families that I work with. I think it will be a good reference to use when talking about the lasting effects of their current situations. It also makes me think about my everyday choices and realizing the impact that every choice has on my future.. good and bad! So the thought of the day for my personal better me challenge is to think about my choices and to try to make better ones everyday! There are no failures just setbacks! So tell me what is your better me epiphany today?

Better Me Epiphany! I like that it rhymes! New phrase alert!!

Anyways I recommend this movie to everyone! Hopefully it will help you to think about decisions so we can all make better choices and become the best that we can be! That's my piece for today! See ya soon!

Better me day 1

2010-05-27T08:15:00.001-07:00

From Evernote:

Better me day 1

So I talked and talked about our wonderful ability to change. Now it's time to live it out in small ways. Everyday I want to make decisions that contribute to a better overall me! What will the change be today? Well I'm writing this! Very small but a big step. I am planning to write something everyday. It may be a thought, a story, or even the next great piece of American fiction. Who knows... but it will be something. So this is my first step! I am expecting lots of applause and free gifts!

New beginnings!

2010-05-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

I wish that life was full of fresh starts whenever you needed them. Whenever you feel bogged down or buried underneath a insurmountable weight you just hit a button and restart right there without the problems. There is no such button but there is still hope. Every day and every moment can be a fresh start and a new beginning. It starts with small changes, first your mind and then your actions. There is always a way out and a way up but we have to make it ourselves. We have to wake up and decide to be different so that our lives can be different. Betterness is a choice. It's not easy and not without sweat and toil but it will get better. It will be different. It will change. That is what we are built for.

Capitalism is Evil

2010-03-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

I really and truly sincerely believe that capitalism is the root of all evil.... because capitalism in it's purest sense is greed. There are too many hurting people in this country that can't get help for so many different things and we have the power to help them. We are supposedly the richest and most generous nation in the world but our nation is set up to not look after the least of these. It makes me angry to be a part of such an evil structure and feel like there is nothing I can do to change it. Maybe I’ll start a commune or something!!! I propose a moneyless society!! Lets just have our job and produce what we need and everyone have what they need to live comfortably... Isn't that the righteous way of living? Everyone look out for each other do your part in the body for the good of the body?? Just my idea and rant for the day!

Being Vs. Doing

2010-01-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

We have some how been tricked to believe the notion that to live equals to do. We occupy ever day every minute second hour with things never-ending actions because that is how you live life to its fullest. The reality is that although life is full of action that is not its central purpose. We must be before we do or else we are no better than our full calendar and tired bodies. The only way to truly be is to know who you are in spite and despite any actions. We tend to define ourselves by our actions instead of our original intent our real purpose. You may write you may sing, read, teach, cook, any of those things... But that is not who u are, the who you are is the why of doing these things. Why do you do it? Figure that out and you will know who you are.

2009-01-17T11:38:00.000-08:00

I just finished "A Mercy" by Toni Morrison! It is an incredible book!!! Everyone should read it! It will make you think about the way you interpret events in your life and help you appreciate the Mercies you are afforded.

2009-01-15T21:28:00.001-08:00

"The only way you can ever fail in life is to succumb to fear" -Frank Langella

2009-01-15T11:17:00.001-08:00

"The Shame of imperfection is something that every human being shares from the very beginning of their existence. This is Humanity's original sin, and we laboriously spend our remaining time attempting to remedy that." - Me

Stupidity

2009-01-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

I HATE the saying "You are paid what you are worth"!

Limits

2009-01-09T22:06:00.001-08:00

"God can be no grander or greater than the imagination of the believer"
-Toni Morrison - A Mercy

So we must decide exactly how we see God. Do we serve a God who is limtless and can exceed even our greatest expectations? Or do we serve a small God who leaves out in the cold to fend for ourselves?

Don't be fooled His characteristics and who He is are not at question. We have a living testament to His infinite and omnipotent power. The thing at question is what limits have YOU put on Him. You can only recieve what you expect He can provide.

2009-01-09T08:21:00.000-08:00

"Anyone willing to work through the hardships of life isn't distracted by the crave for solace that pity can provide." -Me

Live Uncomfortably

2009-01-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

"Comfort is the cornerstone of selfish living"

This is my mantra for the new year. I want to live an uncomfortable life. All of us in this world have decided that comfort is what drives us. We can see this easily with obesity in America, the debt crisis, and even our treatment of each other. I define selfish living as putting our wants over our needs.America has decided that food, and things(houses, cars, i-pods) will make us happy, and oftentimes they do. In life we need to enjoy life itself and not just the things in it. We should savor the everyday happenings of life, the air, the cold, the human touch, all of that. So my resolution this year is to live uncomfortably. That means for me only eating what i need to sustain life, don't oversleep, help someone in need, not constantly being entertained, and spend time with God. Sounds simple but living an unselfish uncomfortable life is a stretch, but worth every painstaking minute of it. Try it and see.