Happy Tears - Review

I just finished watching "Happy Tears" (i got it from the Redbox... i must remember to return it tommorrow!). I will say that I enjoyed the movie but it's not a movie I can wholeheartedly recommend. The plot of the story is that two sister's (Parker Posey and Demi Moore) return home to deal with their father who has been diagnosed with dementia. The sisters are polar opposites - Posey being eccentric, flighty, and delusional and Moore being a responsible hippie type older sister. We see them deal with past issues - a cheating scumbag type father, the death of their mother, and growing up in this type of household - and we see them deal with their father's new girlfriend, a crack-addict pretending to be a nurse and taking advantage of their father. The whole movie is very quirky - Parker frequently goes off into dream states where she imagines sales clerks turning into buzzards, her husband literally bouncing off padded walls, and Parker floating around on a giant jellyfish. This may sound crazy, but i felt it fell in accurately with her character. Through it all there are lots of heartbreaking scenes and a few touching ones mixed in. There are no real "Happy Tears" in the movie but it didn't leave me feeling depressed either. i really liked the cinematagraphy in the movie for the most part (I don't know why but indie films always seem to have that unique look to them). The movie follows this journey over few weeks and we get to watch!

Now to the why i liked the movie!

One - there was a quote in the end about looking for something in life without knowing what it looked like, and the suprise and pleasure that you get when you find it and see it for the first time. I like this idea because i think that really applies to all of us. We are all searching for something and half the time we don't know what it is. I don't mean spiritually although that does apply depending on where you are in your journey. I know for myself that I am on a journey to find and become the best me and find my best life. I don't know what they look like but i know that they are out there and am excited to see them when i get there!

Two- i am very interested in the social unit called family. I work with families and am always fascinated at how they work. In my line of work we tend to think that we know the one way that is a normal safe functioning family and try to structure those that we work with in that manner. The reality is that there are so many ways that familes work and successfully function. I see that every day. I will talk to a family and it is nothing like what i view is normal, but it is functioning. So I saw yet another example of a very different family than mine, and it wasn't the best but it did work for them. I enjoyed seeing it.

So in synopsis i liked but can't recommend it. You decide.. has anyone else seen it? Tell me what you thought!

Tell Me What You See Challenge

, originally uploaded by Fagu.

Hey Y'all! This is the second Tell Me What You See Challenge!

The Tell Me What You See Challenge is an oppurtunity for all of us to get our creative juices flowing and express ourselves to each other. I posted the picture above from a wonderful photographer in Brazil. You can see more of his pictures HERE.

I would love to see the different perspectives that all of you have on this picture. Who's feet are those?, whats going on down there?, what led up to this? really whatever story or observation you can think of!

How it works is that you can email me what you think to mark.deer02@gmail.com or simply post it in the comments section and a week from today I will post all of the reactions to the picture. Then we can all see what each other thought. I think it's a great reminder that we are all in this world together but experience it so differently. I look forward to seeing what you see!

To get an idea of how the last "Tell Me What You See Challenge" went look HERE


So sit back relax and tell me what you see in this wonderful picture!

Review ~ Little Bee

Tonight I finished Chris Cleave's most recent novel "Little Bee". Starting the book I didn't know what to expect.. I bought it because I liked the cover! It turned out to be a great choice. I won't lie to you and say that this is a book that will make you feel good, but it will make you laugh, cry, and think very hard about this world we live in.

The best part of the story is the suprise so I will just give you a introduction and not the plot. Little Bee is a nigerian refugee seeking asylum in London (Modern day London... it's a great snapshot of how refugees/immigrants are sometimes treated....."how you doin' Arizona?"). We see her process this new world and she comes into contact with someone from her past. There is quite a backstory that is pretty brutal but it really made me think. Thata all you get, this is a story that you simply have to read for yourself!

My favorite quote from the book is "We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."    ~ That is so powerful to me. It makes me think about what I've survived... scars seen and unseen. I love that perspective because it takes the shame out of your past, you have something to remind you of where you've been... but you survived it. It's not who you are but where you have come from.

This book also made me think about love for others... friends, loves, strangers... what would I do for another person. We all would say in our purest voices that we would give all for others. This book delves into that and we see how some react to this question. Read it and tell me what you think.

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Embrace Hopelessness

Today i was rereading a book called "When things fall apart- heart advice for difficult times". It's a book written by Pema Chodron, a buddhist nun. I am a Christian and will always be a Christian but i was still interested to read what she had to say.

In the book there is an entire chapter about embracing hopelessness. She says that to live a life of hope is to continually be unhappy with who and where you are. It's very hard for me to think of hope as a bad thing. I've always considered hope as one of our greatest gifts. It helps us get through tough times because we have a hope for something better. She continues on in the chapter and says that living with the  thought that we will finally get it all together is unrealistic, which I agree with. We are flawed from the beginning, we don't have the human ability to ever be totally perfect. She talks about how hope and fear are intimately related and says that hope comes from us feeling that we lack something... that we are in some sort of poverty. I think that i agree with the idea of being hopeless on a micro scale but not a macro one. As a Christian i believe that i have eternal security and look forward to heaven. I also see the dispair that comes with continually looking ahead. If we spend every moment planning this and planning that, thinking that when i graduate i will be happy, or when i get that job and so on and so on then we miss out on right now. That is where hopelessness is beneficial when we stop looking to the future to satisfy us then we can enjoy today. We can not think about what is to come and completely soak in every moment that we are living. So i encourage you to be hopless in the moment. Don't think about tommorrow or next week. Enjoy your life right now. Everyone knows the saying tommorrow never comes, well i firmly believe that. Live your best life right now!

Better Me Epiphany ~ be hopeless in the moment. Don't worry about who you are becoming enjoy who and where you are. You can still work to become better, just don't wait til you get there to smile.

Posted on the go!

The Big Black Spot in the Ocean..... and Oprah

"I think the president is doing the best anybody can,” is what Oprah recently said about how President Obama is handling the oil spill. I am a little undecided at this point. I have heard a lot of different points of opinion and belief.

A friend I were talking the other day and they basically said that the president responded as soon as Louisiana declared it a state of emergency, which was days after the initial explosion and the oil spill started. Apparently the Federal government can only intervene in what's happening in an individual state after that state asks for it. That makes sense right?

On the other hand it has been oh so many days and there still is no plan set in place to help these families who are losing their livelihood. The president addressed that the other day in his speech but there is the opinion that there should have already been an immediate plan to assist them.

Then there is a whole other opinion that thinks that the president should have stepped in and dived to the bottom of the ocean and plugged the gushing oil pipe himself. Not literally of course but the opinion is that he should already have taken over and sent government experts to fix the issue.

And lastly there is the almighty Oprah’s opinion.. that he is doing the best that can be expected. There are limits to what anyone even the president can do. My mind has not been made up yet and I would love to hear what you guys think about it. Let me know!

To read the full Oprah Story go Here

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Tell Me What You See Challege ~ Results!

Alrite y'all here we go!!  The Tell Me What You See Challenge is an oppurtunity to show our individual outlooks. I put up a picture (the one above) and challenged all who wanted to write about who this woman was, or their opinion of her, or what she was doing.... whatever really! I did not get an overwhelming response but i did get a few!! and here they go!

First my friend over at Rada Rhythm and Rhyme Check her out! She is hilarious and her blog is a lot of fun! She wrote this!



Boy, her legs are splotchy. Bet she doesn't wear sunscreen." Just being honest!She looks like she is relaxing after a tough day cutting meat in a small NYC deli. Now she is just hanging out until it's time to go play Bunco with some friends. She'll probably have a cocktail there, too. And I bet she has atleast three cats...

Isn't she fun!

Then my new Blogger Friend V wrote this:



For days it rained

and my heart pained,

You are gone

and for you I long.

I still miss your warmth now.

I couldn't answer - what, when and how?!

You took my heart

left before I could add my part!

But the sun came out today

and nothing stood in my way,

I could say my say

because the sun drew your darkness away.

This is what she wrote about her poem ~ I think I wrote it, in "inspiration" of how the sun makes you feel better no matter what you're going through. And for me, it was partly losing someone suddenly, and I think that's what the poem is about. She lost someone when she didn't expect it, and now she can move on, because she has successfully grieved, there isn't darkness anymore.

It’s nice isn’t it?If you enjoy this then I just know you’ll love her blog!! You can look at it Here


This is the little something I wrote last night… I do so well with deadlines!! Here's what I saw!

Ooooo! It's been a long day. I guess you were not expecting me to talk about the present huh? I look like I'm at the age where I only want to talk about the life I lived and not the life I'm living. Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but I have a lot to tell you about just for today. Like how I spent the morning at the boys and girls club with all those precious children! They call me ms. Minnie.... my last name is Miniola. You pronounce that men-ee-oh-la, but I love my nickname there. The children and I spent the morning working in the vegetable garden. We have planted corn, squash, beans, and tomatoes. I taught them about the three sisters. You start with a ring of about 8 corn seeds then outside that you put a ring of beans and outside that a ring of squash. The squash leaves keep the grass out and the beans grow up the corn stalks. It's just like a family to protect each other and use each other at the same time! We didn't plant today just dug out some weeds, spread fertilizer, and watered (which of course turned into a water fight!). Those little preciouses are the best. Well after I left there I walked up to 29th street and stopped in on one of my oldest friends. She can't move around much and relies on me and a few other people to come keep her company. So I went and talked and we ate a nice lunch. We talked about all the goings on that are happening today. She of course was upset about this oil spill business, and I was talking about getting ready to vote. We always get into these mini debates about who's a liar, a thief, and who might actually do a good honest job. It's good to have someone around that you can disagree with; it helps you think differently about whatever the topic at is. My mind wasn't changed of course but I see her point. After I left her house I got on the bus and headed back up town. I love public transportation, it forces a bunch of people with no similarities (other than geographical location) to get together in one place. I get to hear different languages, see different ways of living, and of course the clothes! I won't lie to you and make you think that we all sit around on the bus and talk, but it is still exposure. I love it. The bus stopped at the library. It is a sight for all to see. It is a mammoth with flammable insides (hopefully this one never goes extinct). I went inside and got a few books to read in the evening. After that I went to the cemetery to visit my daughter. I outlived her in years but I'm still trying to get even with her in life. When she died (car accident.... damn drunk driver) I found her diaries. I met her all over again and discovered a life I didn't know she lived. I could go down the laundry list of the many things that she did, but I won't. I can just say that an amazing person came from me and I get a little bit of pride when I think that I had something to do with it. Ever since then I have tried to remember her by living and not abiding. Sometimes I have to stop and sit on a park bench (and look like I've been hit by a truck carrying a summer supply of sweat), but I won't stop. This is the best way to live! I just wish that she was still here to do it with me.


So I think the first challenge was a success!!! Thanks guys for participating!! i enjoyed it and will have a new picture up soon for the next challenge!!

Posted on the go!

What makes you so important to me?

Umbilicus - it means the core or heart

I learned this word today and it made me think about my relationships well specifically friendships. Anyone who knows me knows that i value friendships almost above all else, afterall you choose friends (you don't get that option with family!). Friends are our chosen family. I didn't get the nickname "friend" from nowhwere. So this word makes me think about what ties me to the people around me. What is at the core of my friendships and why do i love all these people i call friend. It's something that i want to spend the next few days thinking about. I believe that in order to really value something you have to understand it on some level. When you find out why these people are in your life you can build on it. I'm hoping that when i do this i don't come up with superfluous reasons for all the bonds around me. I guess the upside to that is that i can work on making these connections deeper. So i'm wondering what do you think is the umbilcus of most of your relationships?  Is it work, food, common interests?  You tell me! I'd love to hear how your friendships are motivated!

Better Me Epiphany ~ Fill your life to the brim with the people you love the most. We were put on this earth together for a reason. Love them and let them love you back!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Hey Yall!!! it's the last day to be a part of the Tell Me What You See Challenge !!! I hope to hear from you soon!!! I will post all that i get tomorrow!! You can email me at mark.deer02@gmail.com

What a weekend!

So this weekend was quite an experience!

Friday- I met a friend of mine and he showed me his new house! It was beautiful! He always told me he was a millionaire and now i believe him! I should've taken pictures.... but i didn't! Then i went out in greenville and met one of my most favorite people's cousin! We had lots of fun! Well after we left a few of my friends and i were hanging out in the parking lot laughing and all of that. Then a man (homeless maybe?) Came and started talking to us and asked us for money a ride all of that. I have to admit that i was not the nicest to him. There was lots of sarcastic banter exchanged and i know i should have been nicer but i wasn't. Well we got ready to leave and i went to get in the car and the man came and pretended to shake my hand knocked my phone of my hand... punched me in the face and knocked me down.... hence the black eye! It's cute right? Well he ran away after that. That was the start of my weekend.....

Saturday- my best friend from beaufort graduated from grad school! I was so excited! I put a pic up! The base covered my good didn't it? That night me and my other best friend were supposed to go to columbia so he could sing... but transmission trouble on the way. So we came back and i decided it would be a great day to change my brake pads! Mind you i've never done it before but how hard could it be? Right? Well of course i did something wrong... unhooked the brake line? And my brakes wouldnt work! Gave up for the night!

Sunday- my best friend that graduated the day before had her beautiful daughter dedicated at church! It was awesome and a great time for the family to dedicate to be godly influences in her life! So wonderful! I went back home worked on the car and found out a needed another... socket? Ha! No way to get there... so i gave up again! I was very stressed out wanted to give up on everything move to Peru and live on mud and bugs.... but i didn't! I a proud to say that today after work i got the socket and fixed my car! My eye is looking better! And i made it through!

The better me epiphany for the weekend is to NEVER give up even when you have been beaten(literally) bruised, and stranded! Life is hard.. it's supposed to be but we all have it in us to stick it out and keep moving forward!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Sex and the City 2 .....not wholesome but hilarious!

Sex and the City 2 was hilarious! From the costumes(yes costumes!) to the characters. We pop in on Carrie in her second year of marriage - and the monotany that her marriage has become, Charlotte dealing with being overwhelmed by her second child, Miranda having a job crisis, and Samantha.. oh Samantha... dealing with menopause the Suzanne Summers way.

The movie opens up with Liza Minelli doing a rendition of "single ladies" and the fun just continues! I won't give away the plot but we see the women go on a trip and during their vacation they each deal with their own issues. There is lots of drama, funny moments, fashion, and sweet emotional moments thrown in at the perfect spots.

(Side note on the "fashion"- some of the stuff they put on was ridiculous, but for some reason when they put it on it seemed like perfection.... you be the judge)

Their trip is to the middle east so they address the role of women there and we see the sharp contrast of the two ways of living. Some of the middle eastern scenes seemed a little sterotypical.... and slightly New Testament ( i thought someone was going to get stoned), but overall it was a backdrop and not the theme... so I was ok with it. So i give it a thumbs up! It probably wouldn't be the best movie for conservative people... but it's Sex and the City! So I'm sure you already know that!    Grab some friends and go laugh you'll love it!

Posted on the go!

Tell Me What You See Challenge!!

I'm sure all of you know about people watching... right? You sit still and the world aorund you moves.. you listen to conversations, drink in body language, and come to your own conclusions about what could be going on. well i thought it would be fun to use the same concept with a picture. I have attached a picture on to here and I would love to see all of the different perspectives on it. Everyone tells their own story well in this case tell us this woman's story. It doesn't have to be long or anything, but i will give it a week and you can email your piece and i will put it in a new post next week!! It will be fun and think get all of us to stretch our creative muscles. One of the greatest things about the world is that we all see it differently- I'd love to see your view. This could be a weekly challenge for all of us and if you are into photogrpahy and think you have a good one then send it to me and we can use them througout the weeks.

The first picture is from a great street photographer in NYC. You can some of his other photos here Sion Fullana

So sit down and drink some coffee look at the wonderful picture and tell what you want about this woman!!

Better Me Update!

The better me campaign is still up and running!  There was a slight setback today... i got reminded of who I'm trying not to be. I can't be mad because it's my fault. I haven't been the best that i can be and i have to suffer the consequences. The reminder just didn't affect me that well. I went back there feeling hopeless and wanting to hit the restart switch... but of course it's not that easy!  I need to be more diligent about being the best me.. there are so many distractions!  But i will get there!  I'm thinking that maybe getting better organized is a good step right? That should help!  Next step is staying motivated!

The trouble with staying motivated are days like this where you don't see results and feel like you are in the same place. So i just have to remind myself that the only thing instant is pudding! And that still takes a while. So i am going to encourage myself that it will get better and I will get better. It is a process.. a tough one at that but things will change. I will change!

Better Me Epiphany for the day is to not become discouraged keep making changes and i will see results!   Tommorrow is organizin time! 

Posted on the go!

Just entered my first ever blog giveaway thing!! It's pillows!! you can never get enough of them!!! check them out and enter yourself!!! go here
AphroChic Giveaway

God is in the Details

Christine sits solemnly in her pleated skirt on a lonely park bench. The breeze gently pushing by tickles her legs sending a shiver up her spine. Royal blue raceways jut from her waist, and as the sky begins to sweat she sees little droplets pushing and pulling until they reach the end of the track dissipating on her knees. She hears the melodious drip, drop, pitter, patter as the perfectly formed spheres of hydrogen and oxygen spatter on her forehead. They form miniscule rivers down her face over her pronounced nose and onto her chapped lips. She tastes nature’s sweet concoction and smiles. Her ears grow keen to the sound of the earth greedily swallowing up this rare substance. She hears a deep MMMMM, then a loud crack from above which she assumes means "you're welcome". A flash of light cuts through and whips down, reminding all that see who is in charge. A display of grace and power all in an instant. The girl is humbled by her role in this whole affair. The thing about such a show is that there has to be someone to watch, to experience all this splendor and majesty. None of the others do. They scatter with angry faces, inconvenienced by what they view as a break in their beautiful day. They scurry for cover; under trees, into buildings and cars and look back at sweet Christine like she's the crazy one who just doesn't seem to get it.

Janelle Monae - Archandroid

I recently came across an artist named Janelle Monae the other day while watching Carson Daly ~ it was late and i was bored... he's usually not my favorite!. Anyways i was very impressed by her stage prescence and instrumentation so i youtubed her really hard and decided that i must buy her cd. Wonderful decision if i do say so myself! She is amazing and the album is ridiculous! I would describe it as epic! She has decided to tell a story about an android from the future ~ not just any android the best of the best - the Archandroid. I know what you are thinking... androids? Music about androids? It's an odd concept but an effective one. This android is on a journey to be her best and use her best attributes~superpowers~ to save the world. Still sounds odd right? Well this journey that she takes teaches us the listener about life, love, balance, and ultimate freedom.

The music on the cd is awesome! She has combined poetry, hip-hop, punk rock, disney symphonies, motown, Lauryn Hill, horns, orchestra, and what sounds beatlesesque to me into one cohesive album.

Here is a track synopsis ~ there are 18 tracks so i wonKt do them all!

Dance or die ~ features the wonderful Saul Williams. It's a combination of spoken word poetry and hip-hop. What i got from it was that it's our choice to make our dreams ~ they are forever we make the choice dance or die

Faster ~ up-tempo love song

Locked inside ~ a do- wopesque song about the freedom of love

Sir Greendown ~ disney undertones love song about the Archandroids love interest Sir Greendown

Cold war ~ know what you are fighting for stand for your convictions

Tightrope ~ features Big Boi from Outkast. This song sounds James Browny about balance in life

Oh Maker ~ reminds me of a beatles song! Love it favorite phrase is "suffering sinking sand" i can imagine sylvester the cat saying that!

Come alive ~ this is the punk rock song! It's crazy she does the most unique thing with her voice at the 2:20 mark! Ridiculous!

Neon Valley Street ~ beautiful ballad that reminds me of Ex-factor by Lauren Hill

57821 ~ that is the Archaindroids id number. This song is beautiful. It sounds like a classic beatles song.... guitar beatiful echo and harmonies! Love it!

Say you'll go ~ love song! Beautifully arranged

Babopeya ~ has a wonderful drag to it! Her voice is amazing!

I love the cd! Every song is an experience. The instrumentation on every song is perfectly arranged. Real music with real heart, soul, innovation, and positivity! So look it up and listen to some of the tracks on her website ~ janellemonae.com ~ hope you love it as much as I do

Posted on the go!

Gross movie

So tonight i saw the movie Splice.....it was a mistake to say the least! The premise was that there were two biochemical engineers combining the dna of different species.... of course they couldn't stop with animals so they added human DNA into it - one of the scientists dna to be exact. Then we see this thing grow up and the scientists are like parents to it.... and then one of the scientists (the guy) has sex with it... the thing changes genders and rapes the female scientist kills the guy scientist and then gets killed . The movie ends with the female scientist enpregnated by the thing that she created with her own DNA. Very gross and very pointless i didn't know what it was about before i went so please don't judge! So the movie gets the hands down rating because the thumbs down rating is not severe enough! Don't watch it!

Posted on the go!

Posted on the go!

Hey Y'all!! It is a wonderful Wednesday!! I applied for that job yesterday!! so i have my fingers crossed for that!! I could use the income.

Today i decided to make my first submission to a magazine for publication! I you have never checked out The Sun Magazine you should! It is an awesome ad free magazine that publishes very unique fiction, poems, reviews, and photography! I haven't ordered a subscription yet but i want to! If you enjoy creativity in print you would love this magazine! So check it out. They offer everyone a free trial copy so you can get a taste of it!

The piece I submitted today is one that I wrote a few months ago. It's a metaphor about mental illness. I would put it on here but i think that I can't until i get an answer from them. I'm excited because I have been procrastinatning for so long and letting the fear of rejection keep me from trying. No More though!!! Pray for me and anyone who wants to read it just leave a comment or something and i can send it to you!

So the better me epiphany for today is stop waiting for the right time to do anything you want. the only time we have for sure is the moment that we are living. so take it and create the life you always wanted... and if you have the life you always wanted keep doing the things that make it better!